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OBSESSION

Okay, I’m going to get personal.

I worry a lot about my weight and appearance.

I experienced a lot of body-shaming when I was growing up.

I possess the notorious “Hayward Gut”… where the Hayward men don’t gain weight anywhere but right underneath their ribs when they do.

Now, at the same time, I’ve always been “fit”. I exercise, eat pretty well, and generally take care of myself.

BUT… my weight and fitness and appearance is always on my mind.

I’m constantly aware of it.

Even this morning, when I decided to not run today, I felt guilt and concern that it might show.

Rationally, it’s weak.

Emotionally, it’s powerful.

Physically healthy.

Holistically unhealthy.

Immediately, I related this to my spiritual health.

I grew up in a religious culture that constantly obsessed about my spiritual health.

Therefore, I did!

Skipping one devotion, one meeting, one law, or anything at all… slipping just once… would have terrible, visible, and eternal consequences.

Rationally, it’s weak.

Emotionally, it’s powerful.

Physically healthy.

Holistically unhealthy.

Do any of you identify with this?