I’ve talked about stuff like this before..but I just keep coming back to it.

Lately my fear and doubt have been creeping in more (which is super annoying).  So I start to think about everything (i.e. Is God real? Does it matter? Am I lying to myself? Am I taking the easy way out?).

I always get stuck at the idea of having children.

Knowing that no one TRULY knows what is right/wrong, it seems very dangerous/illogical to bring anyone new into this situation called  life.

So…shouldn’t truth be innate?  Shouldn’t we KNOW and not have to guess or be saved or any of that?

This brings me to the verse “Be still and know that I am God.”

If I am still and I listen to this stillness, I should KNOW.  But I don’t…or at least I don’t know the things normal Christians know.  I don’t know if any/some/all of the bible is true.  I don’t know if Jesus was part of the trinity.  I don’t know if there is really a trinity. etc. etc. etc.

This is very frustrating to me, because I have a really hard time handling uncertainty.  It can be very difficult for me to pinpoint my own opinion about things.  In fact, sometimes I have to step back and analyze my actions to find out what I maybe, sorta, am actually thinking.

For instance…

I came to the realization that if I DON’T want God to be a certain way or I don’t want to believe in Hell, then I probably don’t really believe in it.  If I spend time trying to convince myself of something…then I’m probably already convinced.

I still doubt that process, but it’s a step in the right direction…I think.

Anyway, what do you guys think about innately KNOWING?