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  • #17061

    Jim
    Participant

    I’m new here, but very active online as an LGBT advocate.

    I’ve just published my autobiography and have a “ministry” (for want of a better label, lol) called Silent Gays.

    Here’s my brief coming out story :-)

    I should have done it when I was a teenager, but in the 70s, in a conservative middle class Aus home it was inconceivable! So I lived 40 years trying to be “straight”. Got married twice (wonderful women!). I was “zapped” by God when I was 15 – a completely cathartic experience that was devoid of churchianity in any form. But the church, none the less, began to shape me, and being gay was just not part of the deal. I went through every type of counselling and therapy they could offer. I had a couple of tentative guilt laden gay relationships that were destined to fail, and in the end, getting married to a woman was what you did to help get “healed”. My second wife was bisexual, and we worked on being a “normal” couple to the bitter end. We ended up working for the enemy – Reparative therapy group Living Waters, where I learned to live the lie for 15 years – proclaiming freedom from same sex attraction for all, while desperately denying and repressing my core identity. All the time fighting myself, wrestling with my beliefs and fending off suicidal tendencies – only saved by the thought of leaving my son without a dad!

    My wife died of cancer in 2011, and after the shock, grief, bankruptcy and a breakdown, I realised I had no reason to be something I’m not. Over a period of 12 months after that, I sort of oozed out rather than just jump out. I told Living Waters I was happy to still be a group leader but that I was no longer anti gay, and I just wanted to enable people to find their own identity. I’ve never heard from them since, strangely enough!
    In some ways, many of my friends weren’t surprised, but some have just quietly faded away and others have cheered me on.

    I’ve never been happier, more at peace, and stronger in my faith (although that looks a lot different these days!). Finally I’m living the way I was created to be.

    • This topic was modified 1 week, 6 days ago by  Jim.
    #17076
    Profile photo of cowboyjunkey
    cowboyjunkey
    Participant

    Welcome here! I look forward to hearing more from you.

    #17128
    Profile photo of Irma
    Irma
    Participant

    Hey Jim,
    Good to see you here – see you Saturday hopefully :)

    #17132
    Profile photo of Douglas
    Douglas
    Participant

    Terrific, Jim. I’m glad you have found your way to be who you were created to be. Welcome!

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