HOW TO HANDLE YOUR SECRET IDENTITY
I’ve noticed lately in our private Facebook group that many of us are dealing with the fear of coming out to our families, friends, and acquaintances. When we change our beliefs, our faith, our religion, or lose them altogether, many of us feel the pressure to keep it inside for as long as possible.
I know I did.
I just wanted to share some ideas about this today. It’s cold out, and we are buried in snow with more coming. We are expecting to lose our power, so we are ready for it. In the meantime, I’m writing you this letter. I want to talk about our secret identities.
Rather than considering our secret identities as shameful, why not consider them our secret strengths? From my observations of TLSers, every one of you is amazing. I’m not just saying this to make you feel better. I mean it! I brag about you guys all the time because you really are incredibly strong and independent… forces to be reckoned with in the universe. You do realize, don’t you, that “out there” you often edit, control, modify, and abridge who you really are? But at The Lasting Supper, you don’t have to. As much. So inside TLS we see a more accurate presentation of who you are. When you enter into the TLS space, you can let down your guard, rip off your civilian clothes, and be the superhero that you really are without fear of being ridiculed or rejected.
I’ll have to admit that when I first became aware of my secret superpower I really didn’t know how to handle it. I knew that if I showed it, that it would embarrass me and freak people out.
So the first thing I had to do was get over my shame and embarrassment for being different, unique, and even special. After a while, this shame morphed into actually embracing who I was, owning it, and realizing that I, with my special superpower, was the best contribution I could give to the world. I’d always been warned in the religious circles I kept that one shouldn’t stick his head above the rest because it would get chopped off. This was the community’s way of maintaining control and the status quo. After a while though it dawned on me that this was its way of controlling me and separating me from myself. I had to get to the point where I could reject the threat and take that chance.
As a result I never lost my head, but instead became more of myself in this world and now feel as though I am free to grow into my own expanding container. I feel more useful now than ever before. I feel like I can actually contribute who I am to the world. I no longer feel confined but free. Free as a bird with wings. As free as a superhero can be. So when someone ridicules me or rejects me, it doesn’t hurt as much because I know I am far better off now than if I submitted to their expectations of me. I’m happier, freer, and more in my skin and fulfilled than ever before. Ridicule and reject away! I can take it. In fact, that’s another one of my superpowers!
Remember those scenes in the movies when people are in trouble and they need the superhero to rip off their clothes and reveal their true identities? The superhero knows the risks involved, but then motivated by a deep desire to be true to themselves as well as the matching deep desire to help, they come through and amaze everyone around them.
This is why superheroes hold such a fascination for us. I believe they are calling us to come out and be who we really are so we can make a difference. The other day someone suggested that my spirit animal is the honey badger, who “wouldn’t think twice about starting some shit and are actually totally fearless”. Maybe that’s my secret identity and superpower.
Who are you? What’s your superpower?
You guys amaze me. I know. I know it takes time to show more and more people. It’s one thing to reveal yourself to people you trust. Then to people who you hope you trust. Then to people you’re not sure you trust. Then to people you know you can’t trust.
But what’s the alternative? To live in a confined world of small-minded, helpless drones.
We need you.
With love and amazement,
David