Ending Bad Relationships
Lisa and I have been talking a lot lately about relationships.
I expressed to her today that it’s curious to me how she and I are in totally different places when it comes to ensuring our relationships are healthy.
She ends a relationship if it’s unhealthy.
I, on the other hand, feel obliged to keep trying to make the toxic relationship work.
She’s far healthier in that sphere than I am.
Why do I do it? Perhaps it is the pastor part of me or the super Christian part of me that never gives up on people, constantly turns the other cheek, and subjects oneself to pain because, you know, the cross and all that.
Just this last month I decided to end two local relationships. It was hard. Still is. I struggled with feeling guilty about it. Still do. I know it’s the healthy thing to do. In one relationship, I decided to write a letter to him explaining why I abruptly stopped contacting him. I told Lisa about it. Without even reading it she asked if I was submitting myself to him and bending over backwards to appease that asshole, somehow assuming responsibility for it all.
Touché. Yes. I read the letter again, and she was right. I was diminishing myself. I was cowering. I was letting him off the hook. I realized it as soon as she said it.
I wish I had her health when it comes to relationships. But, this is where I’m growing. So, I’m okay with learning how to continue to empower myself and become the master of my own destiny.
This includes with relationships.
How about you?
Are you taking control of your relationships?
Are they healthy?
If they aren’t, what do you do about it?