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I realized a few weeks ago that I play a different role than many people online.

Some claim I still have a “pastor’s heart”. 

What that means is I can’t help caring for people, thinking about them for the long haul, and giving people chance after chance to achieve their own development.

What this looks like for me is responding nicely to people who attack me.


Just yesterday I received a series of very nasty emails from a person. This is the first email I received from her first thing in the morning (nice way to start the day):

“No clue how I came across your moronic site but I did. I read where you have left the church many many times. Truly you are a complete and total and utter douche bag. Stop trying to gain frigging followers and stop trying to act like you’re different and forge your own frigging path by yourself instead of leading others away from church and God you jerk off. “

Usually I ignore such attacks, and I get them all the time.

But this time, like some other times, I thought I would give this person a chance. So I responded nicely.


Because what I’ve experienced is that some of my fiercest critics and cruelest enemies eventually become my friends and finally “get” what I’m saying. In fact, often in such email exchanges, my kindness sometimes pays off and we end up having a civil discussion. Some of them have even ended up in TLS! 

Not this time. 

We corresponded back and forth through the day. But her nastiness only got worse.

I finally told her I would no longer read or respond to her angry emails. 

I gave up.

Here’s the thing: I do care about people in their journeys. I have seen people move from hate to love. And I love being a part of that process.

But that doesn’t mean you have to do that. My concern for the spiritual welfare of others is my thing. It doesn’t have to be yours. 

You may do like I often do and say, “Fuck that!” and block the person on the first go. That’s completely fine. In fact, that might be the healthiest thing to do if you don’t want to invest any time in the cruelty of others.

You do you. I’ll do me.

I didn’t block or spam her. 

Who knows. Maybe one day she’ll come around to a more gracious opinion of me.

Love you guys!