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Like What You Like

I had a strange experience this weekend. Please forgive my rambling here. But I just felt I had to share this.

First of all, on Friday I was driving along contemplating how the All is All, how Reality rules, and how all is love. I also had this strange sense that I was on the brink of another epiphany of sorts. The moment felt full of expectancy. I was nervous because I’ve felt for a while that even though I “know” love is all, I had not yet experienced this mystical reality.

Then, the next day I had to run an emergency errand but Lisa was at work. I asked my good neighbor if I could borrow her car for a few minutes. As usual, she said of course. When I got in her car, I thought, “What does she have in her CD player today?” because she’s a very religious Christian. I turned on her CD player and this song came on. It is thoroughly a Christian worship song, but I found it so beautiful and moving. My eyes filled with tears.

One of the first thoughts that would have gone through my mind would have been, “You’re not supposed to like this stuff anymore!” But I’ve gotten past that stage.

Why did this song move me so much?, I asked myself. Well, probably some nostalgic sentimentality for sure. But, more than that, the overwhelming realization that this song is an expression of human yearning to know and understand the Mystery, and this was their beautiful attempt to articulate it.

I felt no judgement, only appreciation for the beauty of this expression of worship.

Then, suddenly, I felt flooded with emotion as my mind exploded and my heart softened. Truly, All is All. Love is All. All these yearnings and apprehensions and articulations are all subsumed in the All that is Love. Nothing escapes this.

Then I immediately remembered a physics essay I read by Carlo Rovelli who writes that scientists can’t decide why hot things naturally cool down but cool things don’t naturally heat up, and why things fall rather than rise, and why things slow down rather than speed up. And I saw this as the same question as to why there is evil and hate in the world and bad things happening… and I saw that it is because love can cool, slow down, and fall, and so we therefore must keep love alive and hot and active, always rising to consume all that is.

Now, this all took place in my neighbors car, listening to a worship song, a totally unexpected epiphany provoked by a totally unexpected agent.

Years ago, when I decided to like what I like, without judgement, it’s amazing how many venues love finds a way to speak to you.