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Imagine sitting in an airplane with your kids and your oxygen mask drops down.

Your first impulse is to get the masks onto your kids.

But you remember the very clear instructions: “Put your own mask on first!”

So you do.

Let’s unwrap that specific moment.

You act against your instincts.
You wonder what your kids think.
You feel selfish.
You breathe clean air.
You quickly but calmly proceed to help your kids.
You see them breathe clean air.

When we go through deconstruction, we learn quickly that we are trying to take care of ourselves.

We are trying to grow,
trying to have integrity,
trying to be authentic,
trying to be ourselves,
trying to find our own way,
trying to be independent,
trying to be healthy.

Others look on in dismay.

We feel selfish.

But we have to take care of ourselves.

REPEAT: We have to take care of ourselves first!

Once we get through this very selfish-feeling stage…
and this can take years…
then we are better prepared to respond to the needs of others.

Including their questions.