When I left the church in 2010 I was numb for about a year. I thought I was doing awesome when in fact I was completely unaware of how unwell I really was.

I was going through a massive transition and my favorite way of dealing with stress is to turn off self-awareness and wait till it’s over. Then, when it’s past, I evaluate it and try to integrate it. Often, it’s too late.

But, when it dawned on me that I was unemployed, that we were financially bankrupt, that our kids had left home leaving us with an empty nest, that we’d lost almost all of our friends, that my marriage was in trouble… that’s when I realized I needed help.

Changing your religious habits and beliefs is traumatic. Deconstruction involves demolition, and that’s never nice. Necessary, but not nice. I’ve never seen it otherwise. It’s like everything gets tossed up into the wind, like wheat and chaff.

So I encourage you to be aware of this. Work on what you can work on. Keep what you can keep. Let the rest go.

Even though your beliefs are falling apart, it doesn’t mean your finances, your home, your marriage, or your life has to too.