Hollow.
That’s a season.
A season that comes and goes.

When you break free you lose things.
Captivity comes with benefits.

You will miss them. You will want to go back.But don’t! Don’t be the one who wants to return to the security of the familiar cell. You will be tempted to. But don’t!

It is like I got emptied. Reamed out. Scraped clean. Hollowed.
And there was nothing yet to replace it.

When I first broke free from my bondage, I felt numb. In hindsight, I know I didn’t really feel anything at the time. I thought I felt free. That was just the external stimuli. I felt it on the outside. It had yet to sink in.

I felt hollow inside. And everything felt hollow outside. Empty.

When I was in my captivity there were people. There was food. There was shelter. There was busy-ness.
There was a schedule. There were rituals. There were traditions. There was predictability, security and fulfilled expectations.

I had a destiny. Everyone reminded me of it.

When I escaped, I not only gave up my bonds, but all the benefits that came with them.

I felt hollow.

I sensed a promise that when I gave up all these things that they would be returned to me a hundred-fold. But the hollow between the promise and its fulfilment is dark and empty.

Deep within the hollow I realised that because I gave up all my benefits from the hands of my masters, I would have to learn to provide for myself. I would have to trust that the hollow would be filled again with good things. Not necessarily from the hands of men.

Good things without strings.

Until they came, though, I learned to appreciate this hollowness
and hid myself within it until my provision came.

If you’d like to own all of my Sophia drawings, which include the story behind each one, you can buy my book, The Liberation of Sophia here

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