I am a pioneer. I separated myself from the mainstream. I left the forest with its community of trees. I must navigate my own spiritual path, blaze my own trail, and find my own spiritual home.
It’s been a while since I escaped. I’ve been through many traumatic experiences and several small rebellions during my captivity that left me outside of the majority with a firm desire never to return. I don’t know how many times I said, “Never again!” For the past little while I’ve felt like a bad person because of it. A sad and bitter child. A disappointment. I’ve felt like my “never again”s have been a weakness. A sign of defeat.
One day a different perspective on my story revealed itself to me. I realised that after each traumatic separation from my captors, I have taken some time to recover, maybe years, but then I get back in the game. But my return to the game has always been further away from centre. Every time I was back in captivity my captors knew I was even more unbreakable. I would never submit to their control. I was becoming increasingly dangerous.
Perhaps these deaths have actually been births. Perhaps my place is far outside the norm. Perhaps because of fear or insecurity or a desire to please, I would never go far voluntarily, so I had to be coaxed by these small deaths and births to arrive where I am now. A pioneer.
All our heroes, at some point, broke away from the norm, the crowd, the established, to become pioneers, to find their own spiritual property, build their own spiritual homes, to become caretakers of their own lives.
Others are happy just going along with the flow, upholding the status quo and maintaining institutions. They are happy to live and die in the arms of their inherited beliefs and behaviours. They are a stable blessing to the world. But not those who have a sense of adventure and harbour within their breast the urgent necessity to expand their territory and find new ones!
It has always been dangerous and lonely. It is fraught with threats to life and limb. But this fades in importance to the promise of new life, freedom and independence. We will always leave the comforts of home to find new life. There are no maps. The hostiles have not been subdued. We are on our own.
But we can read the stories of those who have done the same thing. They have excellent advice. They have wise warnings. They have useful strategies. These will generally help us on our specific journeys. Like Sophia, I’m going to be a pioneer. I’ll do it alone if I must.
But I’d love some company.
Who’s with me?
If you’d like to own all of my Sophia drawings, which include the story behind each one, you can buy my book, The Liberation of Sophia here
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