When you read the story of Sophia in these blog posts, and see the drawings, you are seeing not only the journey of a young woman courageously struggling to achieve her own spiritual independence and gain her own freedom. You are also reading my story. This is about me.
But it is also about so many of you who feel or felt trapped and want to do whatever it takes to be free.
Don’t make the mistake, like I did, of assuming that liberation from captivity is easy. It’s not. It is full of danger. But if you journey it well, you will come into a freedom like you’ve never known before. You have to adjust to it. I hope these drawings help.
I think this is why the moon plays a significant role in this story: it is the dark night of the soul. There is very little light, and what light there is, is reflected. But I can say that if you persevere, you will come into a light as bright as the sun… your own light.
I intentionally never show Sophia fully. We never see her face. That’s because she is all of us.
Here’s the first:
The way is narrow. Few find it.
This is a recurring dream:
There is a deep and fast river that I must cross. But it is too dangerous. I find a rope tied between two trees on the opposite banks of the river. I cross over the river on this tightrope. I am being judged by those watching.
They are waiting to see if I will fall.
It has come to this. It seems I am always being watched. Always being judged. People are always waiting to see me fall.
The line I must walk is very narrow. Treacherous. If I fall I will perish.
When I was a child I had another recurring dream. I had this dream whenever I was sick with a fever. Like clockwork.
This is the dream:
I am in my house. I have a huge massive thing I’m carrying on my shoulders. It reminds me of Atlas with the entire earth on his shoulders. I must carry this downstairs into the basement. There I stand before a line of austere men and women behind a long desk who will judge me. The burden is so huge and I am terrified of failing.
Fierce and afraid. Why do these two things abide within me simultaneously? How can I be courageous and afraid at the same time? Is it my courage acting in the face of fear?
the fear of being watched, the fear of judgement, the fear of disappointing people, the fear of failure, the fear of being punished… is so great that it paralyzes me.
But only for a time.
Eventually I always manage to find the nerve to get on that tightrope and walk to the other side… my destination.
If you’d like to own all of my Sophia drawings, which include the story behind each one, you can buy my book, The Liberation of Sophia here
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