While I was in captivity I was secretly aware of a wildness within me.
I wouldn’t dare share it.
Of course it was mostly theory without practice. At this point.
I dreamed of it.
I hid it.
I sheltered it.
I nursed it.
Others couldn’t see it. If they did I would have been corrected. Or it would have been exorcised.
So I hid my wildness like a wolf hides in the wide open.
Camouflaged by my domesticity.
I heard the wolves in my sleep. Like long threads their howls stretched across the moonlit night and laced themselves around my heart. It was only a matter of time when they would pull me with them into the wild.
I’ve heard it said that you can take a wolf out of the wild, but you can never take the wild out of the wolf.
This is me. No matter how domestic I behave, I am wild like a wolf!
You cannot take this from me.
It was a kind of revelation to discover that it doesn’t matter how large my heart is. It had been so trained and tamed over the years that it felt too small to contain the wilderness I dreamed of. My heart had become constricted under the pressure of conformity to life’s demands and the expectations of others.
But the truth is that my heart is a portal.
It’s a door into the expansive wilderness that awaits me.
Its size doesn’t matter.
All I had to do was walk through it.
To the dismay of those who witnessed it.
I ran with the wolves.
If you’d like to own all of my Sophia drawings, which include the story behind each one, you can buy my book, The Liberation of Sophia here
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