I’m always waiting.

Looking out the window for something to show is my pastime.
Like through a dark glass.

The thing is… I never really know what I’m looking for.

All I know is that I want to experience my freedom.
The freedom that beats in my chest wants to feel the road.

Windows are good.
They let me see outside of my cell.
Outside of my box.
Outside of my boundaries.

But they are not doors. And I’m looking for a door.
I’m looking out the window for the door.

I learned how to appreciate the present. The now. The here. The be here now.
I know this. I know how to do this now.

But I also know how to hope. How to long. How to desire.
I’ve learned that desire means lack. I can only desire what I do not have.

What a strange concoction! Desire with contentment. Contentment with desire.

Look at me! I look content. But I’m also waiting.
I’m looking for what I’m looking for.

All these years I have been stretched between these two realities.

Some say to me, “Why can’t you just settle down?”
Others say to me, “Why have you settled?”

So I look out the window. Because I’m certain that the opportunity will present itself.

And I will shock everyone because then I will act. They will look for me where I’m supposed to be. But I won’t be there. I will be gone. Through the door.

I will escape.

If you’d like to own all of my Sophia drawings, which include the story behind each one, you can buy my book, The Liberation of Sophia here

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