You have every right to be free.
This means that you never have to submit to the control of others. You never have to take condescending speech from other people. Ever!
Most of the people I know who have left the church have done so, not so much because of overt abuse, but because of the subtle but pervasive manipulative speech that seems to be a huge component of organized religion. More and more people are recognizing this ancient pattern and are no longer subscribing to it in order to belong.
The forum topic Church Bullies addresses this very issue. Check it out!