Cherrelle88 asked if I would like her to provide a Daily Toast. I said sure! What a pleasure. If anyone else wants to provide a Daily Toast, just let me know. Cherrelle88 sent it to me by email and I copied and pasted it below:
To enjoy or to not enjoy?
This holiday was not really an holiday for me. I have continued working for most of the part because I wanted to be prepared for my next job in Spain. I am doing a PhD research in The Netherlands, and as a researcher, work actually never is really done. I told myself, I was only allowed to have holidays if I would finish a list of un-finishable tasks. Only than I would “deserve” to have off, to be free to have vacations.
I arrived in Madrid (Spain) last week, directly did my administrative things and actually had just a weekend left before I needed to show up in my new office… I thought, this is my time to take off and go to the beach in Alicante. After multiple times trying to connect with a friend who lives at the beach with no success, I decided to go anyways. I thought, you know what; I am just going by myself for myself. Bought a trainticket and left.
In the train my head was still full of thoughts. Full of worries. Worries concerning what I still needed to do when coming back. I didn’t like it. I was supposed to enjoy! I decided to pick up my dairy and a pen and started to write. Writing slows down my train of thought. However, after writing for almost an hour, the worries were no less still.
So then I though to myself; what do I really want? I wrote down the question.
“What do I really really want?
I answered myself.
“I want to have no single worry. I want to enjoy this weekend as if I had no thing to think about at all. I want to enjoy. I want to be totally free.
Than I asked myself:
“”am I allowed to be so?”
“Yes, I am.”
“I am allowed to enjoy, to leave the worries, to be free.”
On that moment, it was as if a burden fell of from me. I felt a shift in my thoughts. I felt free. I felt like a child.
I felt it, this was a start of a wonderful holiday of just 2 days, but it felt like a beautiful week!
Sometimes your very own decisions can lock you up. But in order to get out, you need to make another decision. Freedom is closer to you than you think.
What do you allow yourself to be today?