Anger is a natural, human response to being hurt. It can be as slight as being called a name to being the victim of an outrageous injustice. Have you read the beautiful forum, “why am I SO angry after SO long?”? Kudos to you amazing story tellers and listeners!

Did you know anger is a stage towards recovery? Kubler-Ross named five stages of death and dying, and those stages can be applied to any kind of loss. The stages are:

1. denial
2. bargaining
3. anger
4. depression
5. peace

A lot of interesting studies are out there on anger and forgiveness. Stanford did a study where they brought 17 men and women from Northern Ireland, all with family members murdered in the violence there, to go through forgiveness training. After just a week, these men and women who’d lost parents, children, spouses, and siblings reported a 35% decline in headaches, stomachaches, and other symptoms of stress, and a 20% drop in symptoms of depression.

Here are their 5 steps to start us on our way:

1. understand what forgiveness is, and what it isn’t
2. grieve for what you’ve lost
3. don’t wait for an apology
4. try to understand what drove the offender
5. celebrate who you have become.

Read more about it here.