In my post yesterday “do not cast your pearls before swine”, I suggested that you only share your inner valuables with those who are genuinely interested and care about you and what you have to share. Do not share your truths with those who can’t or won’t appreciate them. It’s a waste of time and it can hurt you to see your worth stomped on like that.
Starfielder asked how can we tell the difference between the two? Good question! How can we tell the difference between a swine and a sweetie? Here’s just a few pointers:
- Never share publicly online or anywhere! Unless you’re into that game like I am. Just don’t. There are too many swine out there just waiting to trample over anything and everything good. My role in life is to expose myself. Hence “nakedpastor”. But I’m doing it for a reason. And I have built up somewhat of an immunity to stomping swine. It still hurts but I’m on a mission. Just don’t do it unless you must, like me.
- Don’t trust swine. This could be family or friends or acquaintances or whomever. If you know someone that you just know would not appreciate your pearls, then don’t fantasize that they will. Face facts. Reach an agreement with reality. If you share your pearl with this someone and they stomp on it, it doesn’t do any good to say, “I was hoping you would care!” No… you were hoping your fantasy of who you wish they were would care. Stomp!
- Test the trust levels. If people ask about your pearls or you’re feeling like you’d like to share them with someone, start with the least valuable. Here’s an example: if you’re gay and wonder if you should come out to a person, you could say, “If a friend came out to me, I wouldn’t judge them but would do everything to make that person feel accepted, appreciated and loved!” Notice their reaction. If it is positive, they’ve passed the test. Share a pearl. If not, don’t.
- Trust the trustworthy. If someone over the course of time has proven trustworthy, is a good listener and doesn’t judge you, then venture into this territory. Go as far as you feel safe to go. Don’t dive right into the deep end. Wade in. I emphasize “over the course of time” because too many people trust too many people too soon. Suddenly, something goes wrong and all the trust and safeguards are disposed of and your pearls could end up on the black market. Take your time.
I hope this helps. It can be lonely out there. We all have pearls and it’s nice to share them. I hope you find someone or more than one that you can share them with.
I appreciate how you guys are so willing to share your pearls with us at TLS. Good on ya!