I have lots of uncertainty as to what I believe these days. I don’t buy all the Christian doctrine I’ve been taught over the years, and I see and teach the Bible as a piece of literature rather than an inerrant authoritative Word. But i don’t want to throw the baby out with the bathwater. I still believe there is a God, but I don’t know how to relate to him/her/it.
You should try being a minister when you’re at this place. Okay, some of you have, and I’d be happy to receive any advice.
Over the weekend I visited a young lady in the hospital who was nearly killed in a wreck. She has 12 broken ribs, injured lungs and liver, and her back was broken (it can be repaired, thankfully). When I went to her, I looked into her beautiful eyes which were overflowing with tears because she was scared and in pain.
I placed my hand on her forehead, I summoned up all my love and confidence and tried to direct it toward her.
“You’re going to be ok,” I said with a certainty that I actually felt at the moment. “This is old Pastor David telling you that you’re going to come through this. You just have to do the work of healing. It’s hard work, but your momma and daddy taught you how to do that, so there’s nothing to fear.” And then I prayed for her to a God I’m uncertain about.
I felt good about it, and I still do. It’s just that I rarely feel that certain these days.