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lonely cartoon drawing by david hayward

The most prevalent feeling since leaving the church has been loneliness. I’ve been thinking about this quite a bit. Actually, I think I was just as lonely within the church but I didn’t feel it as acutely because I was surrounded by people. I had some meaningful relationships. But the truth is I was going through a great deal of internal anguish as my ideas, philosophy and theology were changing. I had to keep much of what I was thinking inside.

But I did let some of what I was going through leak out onto this blog. I let enough leak out that it finally got me into trouble.

So this is what I conclude: we are lonely in the universe. We can surround ourselves with other people, but as long as we aren’t living openly with ourselves then we will continue to experience this loneliness. Plus it helps to find at least one other person. I have a few people locally who I am open with. Especially my wife Lisa. Then a few local friends. That is slowly growing. Plus I am meeting people online who alleviate my feelings of loneliness.

If you are having to hide your true self, it doesn’t matter how busy you are with other people, you will be like those in the crowd above: lonely.

So: Loving yourself unconditionally is the cure to your loneliness. Finding others who love you unconditionally enriches it.

I’m thankful for this community that is building here. It is helping alleviate my feelings of loneliness. I want to thank you for your love and friendship!