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For far, far too long, I have found myself with bursts of anger and self-sabotage, comparing myself to others and depending  too heavily on the aid of others. It had gotten to the point, before my breakup with Tristan, my ex, that I almost wrecked on I-10 on my way to a rehearsal. I’m absolutely damned tired of being so angry with others and myself, and yet I’m terrified on working on my anger because it’s my only shield against enemies that are very well nonexistent. Fears, people who don’t like me, people I have alienated because of my refusing to put up with bullshit.


I am not sure if this belongs in the Feelings group but I’m most certainly feeling like these thoughts just need to stop, but I also can’t say anything to my family because they’ll insist on my practicing my taught faith, a faith that has fallen through for me.