Your best friend calls. She needs to talk to you. You’re worried it’s about you. But when she arrives, you realize it’s about her. She says,

“I just need someone to talk to. I feel terrible. My beliefs are changing. I’m angry all the time. I hate my father. My kids are driving me crazy and my husband’s an idiot! I know I’m not supposed to be like this and I feel terrible. But if I don’t talk with you about it I feel like I’m going to explode!”

What do you do? You put your arms around her and say something like,

“Oh don’t be silly! I love you just the way you are. There’s no crime against your feelings. You go right ahead and feel exactly the way you feel. I don’t judge you. I love you. Now just talk. Tell me everything. I’m here for you with only love in my heart for you.”

Now… imagine that best friend who called is you. And say the same things to yourself.