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Many of us fear “coming out” sexually or spiritually. It can be terrifying because we know what the risks are.

But there are two sides to the story, one less important than the other.

  1. Those watching you come out: We used to think they were the ones instilling fear in us. Because we fear that they might reject us, we believe they are the primary inhibitors to our coming out.
  2. You coming out: I try to gently remind people that there will always be someone who refuses to understand us or relate to us with grace. This is why TLS must remain a safe space. So now we may consider that another factor contributing to our fear of coming out is our own insecurity about ourselves, our own lack of confidence that we are okay just as we are.

The power of #1 is very real, but it isn’t the biggest hurdle for us to clear. It is getting to the place where we feel confident about ourselves, that we respect, appreciate and embrace who we are and care less about what others think. This is the biggest hurdle. Actually, it is the final one.

Every day I watch people on TLS clearing it. It’s amazing to see.