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lightning tree drawing by david hayward

“Lightning Tree” (charcoal powder on paper, 8″x10″)

After I had my transformational dream in May of 2009, I realized that I had a very unhealthy image of myself. I saw that I grew up nurturing and being nurtured in a very negative self-view together with the whole human race.

I fell in love with Reformed Theology in my seminary days. I passionately studied John Calvin, Luther and all the others that followed in their wake. I still have a deep appreciation for Calvin and all that theology. My library is full of books in that vein. I even won prizes in Reformed Theology. I felt it came to me as a gift.

But I started to see that we actually choose our worldview. That is, confirmations come rushing in to substantiate our core beliefs about ourselves. That includes our theology. I am convinced that we always choose ideas that support what we already believe. We find proofs to buttress our worldview.

Like this tree struck by lightning, appearing to forever damage its life, I can now see that much of what I have believed only deepened my own pre-existent self-deprecation. There’s all kinds of theology out there that will reinforce our self-hatred and keep us down and afraid.

I’ve also discovered that we have no idea how dangerous this is to our health and wellbeing. Theology that supports a low view of humanity is a self-fulfilling prophecy. It actually creates the milieu for the complete defeat, destruction and death of the human spirit. Which is what it desires.

Let’s say that on The Lasting Supper we commit ourselves to reality about ourselves. Let’s invite ourselves and each other to be as perfect as we already are.

Happy New Year my friends.