One of the most challenging tasks Lisa and I ever took up was changing in front of our children. I don’t mean our clothes. I mean our spirituality.
Even though Lisa and I left the church three years ago when our three children were young adults, deconstructing in front of them began when they were very young. In 1997… that was the first big challenge. Our kids would have been 4, 7 and 9. Our church went through a massive church split and we lost over half the congregation and then another half of the remaining half over the next years. They lost many friends. We lost a lot of ours. But more than that, we lost a lot of our puppy-love-affair with the church and a lot of its theology. Over the years we gradually drifted further and further away until we find ourselves where we are today.
Helping our kids grow into their own spirituality was the challenge. Just because we were changing didn’t mean they had to change in the same way. They wanted to see their friends who’s parents were our mortal enemies at the time. They wanted to go to youth groups and summer camps of churches that were not on our top 10 favorites. It was a parental labyrinth. But we made it. They aren’t recognizable in many ways as “Christian”, but they are healthy human beings with their own unique spiritualities forged in the fires of their church experience, both negative and positive, as well as their own explorations and discoveries.
I like this older forum topic because it reflects this parental struggle, “Parenting: How Not To Be Mormon”. It’s funny too!
Which reminds me, our next Potluck Hangout is going to be this coming Sunday at 3pm CST. The topic is “Changing In Front of Your Children”. So parents prepare!! I wanna see you there!