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the silence of God prayer from the cell by david hayward

There have been just a few times in my life when I feel I’ve received direction or revelation from something Other. On the other hand, I have come out of a Christian culture that hears from God a million times a day. I’m serious! For so many years I was immersed in a culture where God never shut up. At first it was exhilarating. The thrill, the excitement, the hope, the destiny! It was an amazing and happy time in my life.

Then reality hit. None of the thousands of promises were coming true. And so many of the people who spoke these promises were gone. The possibility began to dawn on me that all these words were empty. The bible is full of prophecy. True! But it is also full of false prophets as well. True! I had to finally admit that the vast majority of those revelations from God were simply the spoken fantasies and well-wishes from good-intentioned hearts.

Have you read Endo’s “Silence”? Powerful!

There have been, I remind you, a few instances when something Else happened. I can’t explain them. But here’s a few:

1. I felt trapped in the Presbyterian Church for years and finally gave up hope and sank into a depression. One night I had a dream in which I heard the words, “It’s time!” and the next day we knew it was time to quit and just leave and move into something new.

2. One night I had a dream about a waterfall which suddenly integrated all of my intellectual struggles into a unitive whole which I now call the Z-theory. I’ve been invited by a literary agent to write a book about it.

3. The night I decided to leave the ministry: I had asked that it would become absolutely clear to me when I should leave, and that night it couldn’t have been clearer. I new it was the end, and my wife Lisa did too.

Usually I hear or see things in dreams. But I’ll talk more about that soon.

What’s your take on the silence of God? Have you experienced this same kind of journey?