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Tim WB 1 year, 4 months ago.
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At first, I thought I didn’t self-censor: that I told people exactly what I thought, all of the time.
And then I met you all, and read your stories (mainly on Facebook!) and realised that I do those sort of things too.
I also read some blogs, and I thought a bit, and I realised that I stand idly by while my society perpetuates a racist, sexist, ableist, … (and there’s 6 other categories here I don’t even have names for…)
And I benefit from most of it, most of the time, and I complain like crazy when I’m the one being discriminated against. But that kind of advocacy is a little unbalanced, isn’t it?
I also watch people say things I violently disagree with, but I don’t do anything. (By the way, I know I don’t need to fix everything – http://xkcd.com/386/ )
But sometimes I just want the option of saying something, rather than holding back so I don’t upset anyone, disappoint anyone, or confuse anyone about what I actually believe. (Or accidentally commit to something I don’t believe!)
As you might have guessed by now, it’s my silence that I now find most disturbing…
So I’ve spent the last few weeks increasingly choosing to post quotes, articles, and thoughts on Facebook and Twitter, which I may have previously held back. I’ve also decided to press on in conversations I may have otherwise avoided, or kept more of my feelings to myself. This may have shocked some people, but it seemed to go ok. (I was invited back!)
I’ve subtly pruned my Facebook and Twitter feeds to remove those that I’m really not interested in engaging with as much (this might seem a little counter to my original goal of being more open, but it’s more about choosing what I take in, than controlling who can see what I put out…)
I’ve also challenged friends, both online and offline, to move beyond typical patterns of thought and conversation. This is still a work in progress – sometimes, it seems that I just can’t quite make my point clearly and concisely (and especially, courteously!). Maybe that will come with experience, or maybe it is a significant challenge to have a genuine, civil conversation which moves some of the participants beyond their comfort zones. (I know what it feels like when I’m being moved beyond mine.)
What I’ve been most surprised with is the number of people who’ve responded positively – I’ve only had one rather strange comment so far (I couldn’t even tell if it was critical). Everyone else has appreciated or even engaged with the topics I’ve posted. It’s kinda cool. I obviously have some great friends. Maybe my fears were unfounded.
But it’s early days, and I’ve seen the critical rants before. I guess I’ll be subjected to one sooner or later. Like I have been before.
But that need not be the end of the story…
Oh dear, the link didn’t make it – it’s “Someone is wrong on the Internet”
I’m thinking of the boy in Hans Christian Andersen’s story “The Emperor’s New Clothes“.
Yes Jeff (@jprideaux), that’s fantastic: my society (and the church) indeed have no clothes.
Unfortunately, if you ever point that out, there are some who become much more concerned with instructing others on appropriate clothing.
And they’re not only within the church!
This is also how I feel about a lot of David’s (@admin) cartoons – he’s graphically pointing out that the church is indeed lacking something important – and that she sometimes prefers to dress in filthy rags.
I’m trying to call out privilege and discrimination when I see it – just Facebooked about a racist line in a newspaper editorial:
“Is Jack Waterford implying that non-English speaking Labor party branch members are not “real” members?
I’m concerned that throwaway lines like this actually hurt the engagement of people from non-English speaking backgrounds in our political processes.”
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