Ethical Ho

[PersisMember]

Interesting Topic huh?

So I actually thought having sex with my ex husband would save my marriage. You see, I married a man who had a lot of annoying quirks, but he loved me. I thought they were amusing at first, but after several months it was like nails on a chalkboard. But I was somewhat willing to deal with all that blah blah blah because that’s what love is. We accept people where they are and love them anyway. I thought I only needed for my family to be cared for and for me to get my fix. Yes, Sex makes everything alright in my world… at least for a while. My last husband kept me in the relationship for 5 years even though he was getting arrested for DUI, an alcoholic in denial, he did not work at all, and stayed out all night drinking. But the sex was AWESOME. With my current husband I figured the sex may be mediocre, but at least he was always quick to declare his love to me, he had a career and steady well paying job, he did not drink, he came from a stable home, he was educated and very intelligent. He was awkward with the children, but he had never been married before and he had no kids at age 41…Cut the guy some slack. I believed he would be a great role model for my children unlike the ex who made it clear to me he did not want any children PERIOD.

Looks are deceiving.

He kept up appearances until the “I do’s”. Within the first month of the marriage the sex started to dwindle. By 5 months we were copulating once a month. I made it clear to him that no sex was a serious problem for me even before we got married. I didn’t want to leave him. I really thought I couldn’t do any better. The lack of intimacy made me feel undesired and worthless. When I shared that with him, he was always quick to say how much he loved me and that his interest had nothing to do with me. He promised to be better. I begged him to seek medical help. He did not see it as a priority. Finally after 6 months of pleading, I decided I can either ram my car into a brick wall or get some nookie. I called my ex. He was single and more than willing to “help me” with no strings attached. Little did he know I had a ball of string just waiting to be unraveled.

Silly rabbit! Tricks are for kids.

It worked at first. I was calmer. Less grouchy and whiny. But after 5 months of weekly amazing lovemaking, I couldn’t stand the sight of my husband anymore. Even his breathing got on my nerve. We got into constant arguments because he really believed he was never wrong to which I vehemently disagreed. He loved to hear himself talk. He is a classic narcissist. Everything about him that I put blinders on in order to have the perks of a relationship with someone who can provide, came blaring with the power of a SOLAR BURST. I had made a terrible mistake. How could I have been so STUPID and DESPERATE? One morning I suddenly found myself confessing. “I’m cheating on you”. He immediately said, “Okay. Just end it and we’ll be fine” Huh??? The next thing I knew, my mouth opened and I said, “no”. I knew I could not stay in a relationship with him without sex and since he wasn’t putting out, there was no point. It was more humane to stop the silly merri-go-round before everyone was puking. It was better for the children. It was better for my health. The next 3 months were filled with him begging me to work it out. But the problem was he was only talking. There was no action behind his professions of love. He had moved out the very night I told him, he stopped all financial support, he reduced his communication to long texts and emails filled with rants and victim whining sessions. I was done and there was nothing to be done about it.

Embarrassing? pretty much
So it didn’t even last a year. Being that we married 9 months after meeting each other, it’s not surprising. So I’m in therapy. I stopped seeing my ex after he reminded me that he REALLY DOESN’T WANT KIDS. My divorce is final next week. I do have a boyfriend who is a natural magnet to kids and is much better in bed.

And the saga continues….

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