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AnonymousWelcome, Jeb, and thanks for sharing your journey with us and helping us to be more honest and less lonely. And thanks for the book recommendation, Richard, I plan to check that out as it resonated with me.
AnonymousI will only echo what others have already said – allow yourself the time to experience the shift of perspective you are experiencing. There is simply no rushing this process, much as I tried.
One of the lessons (and it’s a continual lesson, actually) is that the lesson is in the pain. The pain and discomfort need to be brought into the light and given their due consideration. They need to be sat with and felt and experienced. I eventually exhausted myself by running away from them and threw myself at them only when I was in a deep despair and stopped caring about anything.I just watched The Big Lebowski again and I was laughing so hard when Bunny says to The Dude, “He doesn’t care about anything. He’s a nihilist.” And The Dude says, “Ahhhhh, that must be exhausting.” I would never have guessed that nihilism was more exhausting than doubting, but for me it was. Who knew?
Anyway, now I’m just babbling. All this to say – be gentle with yourself through this process. Precious few people told me that while I was in my process, or else I didn’t have ears to hear. At any rate, be gentle with yourself and love yourself through this process. And give yourself the gift of time.
@servantgirl I love your FB post! How brave you are. My old friends know why iron at least think they know why we were taking a break from church. But they have no idea where I am. I don’t think my husband knows either other than I am done with all churches. I don’t know how to tell people or even if I should. Someone mentioned not even having to on here. But I look forward to the day I Can! For now I have deactivated my Facebook and that is probably permanent. That is where all my church friends were connected and ones I defriended assumed it was a mistake and sent me new requests. My titter isn’t full of old church folks, except one friend I thought I could keep and her grown son. So they have missed my liking David’s cartoons and disagreeing with Mike Huckabee :-). Anyway, just wanted to congratulate you on your bravery!
AnonymousTook another step today. I admitted to my brother who is a strong atheist that I most likely am at least a non-theist at this point. OMG! I am either one more step to figuring out who I really am or one more step lost. I felt a little nervous at the thought of a brooding God who can’t wait to get even with me when I die. But there’s hardly any point in pretending any more. I haven’t believed much of what traditional Christianity has believed for a long time. I can’t. I have tried. Funny thing is, I haven’t believed in a brooding God or even hell for a while. But I still kinda do.
great step… I hope it will encourage dialogue about a god who doesnt punish. I’ve long left the belief in hell and find that most in my congregation have left it as well. I’m not us how to ask the question But I want to know more about your journey. Can god be non punishing?
When my husband died, I ‘knew’ at that time that I would be with him again in heaven. Same with my Mom and Dad. Now I’m trying to reprocess that; lots of questions but no answers.
CrystalC2012 That facebook post was the end of a long build up. However I’d posted things for about a year highlighting what I was struggling with, including a few of David’s cartoons. When I made that post I’d come to the place where it was time to rip the bandage off all at once and stop slowly removing it. What I found was that with a few exceptions, my friendships were based on much more than our shared belief. I have many friends who don’t fully understand that I know still pray for me, but my lack of belief has not changed the foundations of our relationships. That was my biggest fear about walking away. What has changed for me is the sense of community I had with seeing most of them at least once a week or several times a week to work on Sunday School lessons, women’s Bible studies, or rehearse for the worship band. That loss of community was something I felt deeply, but having the love and support of my friends meant everything to me. I cannot believe the same wouldn’t be possible for you. If people leave your life because you have doubts and struggles, were they really a part of it to begin with? I lost a great deal of people from the church when I left it, but those people were obviously never truly a part of my life.
Jeb I’m so glad you have someone in your family to share with. That is a big step and I can’t wait to see where your journey takes you. It is so humbling what you guys share here. Thank you.
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