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I mentioned in the Embracing Doubt potluck that I had written some poetry that really got at the emotions I experienced during my de-conversion process. I thought I’d share the rest of my writing that has been associated with that time, even though all of these were written within the last year. Sometimes I battle depression, usually I’m a very happy person but when it does take me over I tend to write things like this – which are based on memories that still hurt sometimes. Trigger Warning.
All of the poems are actually part of images that I thought fit them, and I don’t have access to the original text, so I’m linking to an album from here:
AnonymousMatt – thanks for being so honest and vulnerable in sharing your deepest, darkest feelings expressed through your poetry. (That is the only time I can write poetry too – when I’m in the most intense, gut-wrenching pain.) I’m so sorry this “death of God” and all the losses related to it have resulted in such excruciating, unrelentless emotional pain and torture. You are indeed a very courageous man to continue to battle with despair and depression day after day. I can’t even imagine! I’m glad you have joined us and that you have found a safe place and safe people with whom to share your journey and your insights. Wish I could give you a great big hug in person!!
Thank you Jo, I’m very fortunate in that my depression only occurs in spurts – a week or two at a time maybe once every 8-12 months. 90% of the time I’m incredibly happy and surrounded by people that reinforce my happiness.
AnonymousI’m SO glad to hear you are happy 90% of the time, cuz I have experienced severe depression/suicidal thoughts in the past (I don’t anymore thanks to Zoloft!) and I know how much that SUCKS! Really, really happy you don’t experience depression very often anymore!
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