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AnonymousI posted the following on my Facebook today. I made a promise to quit posting political things for a week so spiritual stuff was next on my list! I have lots of dreams, mostly they are forgotten by the time I start brushing my teeth. But a few have stuck with me. I’m also going to post a few of my responses to those who called me out. This is kind of long so I hope someone reads it!
Since I can’t keep quiet, today’s post is about a spiritual experience that I’m still working through. This is Part I: 20 years ago I had a profound dream. I was standing in a firing line with 12 other people. We were going to die. The guy next to me was crying, panicked and hysterical. I was trying to calm him down. As I looked down the barrel of the rifle I knew, absolutely knew, that our lives were not going to end. I tried to reassure him and he screamed, “How do you know this?” And I said, with the conviction of a believer, that God would not allow it. And if it should come to pass, then we get to be with Jesus, plain and simple. So either way it was a win, win. My total sense of calm, of complete surrender, was one I’ll never forget. Yes, it was only a dream, but I still remember it 20 years later. Many of you know that I have struggled with the whole church thing these last couple of years, but I go back to that dream over and over again, and know that no matter where I am, even in front of a firing line, I’m covered, I’m good, God has my back.Fast forward. Part II: Last night I had a profound dream. But before I had that dream I had a nightmare. My nightmare was that I was being held down, held back, and I was fighting with everything I had. As dreams go, the oppressor’s face kept changing. Man, woman, young, old. I was trying to scream, I couldn’t get the words out until finally, from my gut, up my throat, out my mouth, I screamed, “LET ME GO!” I awoke screaming (yes it scared Gregg). I couldn’t find my voice but like a Tsunami, it rose to my throat and crashed upon the shores of my awakening. Very simple, Let. Me. Go.Here’s where it gets a little crazy and my Catholic friends will think I’m a nut. I’m talking to you Helene Ryan Demarest and Pat Gavin. I fell back asleep and my dream was so incredible. I was meeting with Pope Francis. Mind you, I am not Catholic, nor pretend to understand all the rules related to Catholicism. But it didn’t matter, the Pope was interested in what I had to say. I wasn’t nervous at all. I felt as if I was going to meet with a long lost friend. We greeted each other with joy and hugs and tears. We were so happy to see one another. He asked me what was on my mind, my heart, my spirit. I told him I was hopeful, that I was feeling a shift coming, a change in the way we all experience God. I asked him if he was the man God sent to help us all through the changes before us, and he said yes. He wasn’t afraid, but humbled that God had chosen him. We talked about women’s roles in the church, he felt they certainly could, and should, pastor and lead congregations. He also let me know that the idea of priests not marrying was one he could forgo, that all church leaders need good strong partners in their lives. He was looking forward to a time when all people from all faith backgrounds came together to worship God. I asked him about a verse that always bugged me, John 14:6, “I am the way, the truth, the life, no one comes to father but by me.” He smiled so warmly and tenderly. With tears in his eyes he said, “But daughter, don’t you see? All the great faiths of this world recognize Jesus in some form. Hindus see him as a Deva, one of the faces of the one and only God. Buddhism recognizes him as a Buddha. The Dali Lama recognizes him as a great teacher. Islam sees him as a prophet. Even Wiccans know he existed and recognize his wisdom. Even the atheist understands the historical context of this man who walked among us. Why do you worry so? We are all united in faith but our experiences of God is what makes us unique.”Like my dream of 20 years ago, I know without reservation, that God is present. This morning, I see that my God is the same God of the Muslim, the Buddhist, the Hindu, the Jew, the Christian, the Wiccan, the Pagan, the Atheist, of all of us. This God is present, imminent and transcendent, both. This God is here for all to experience no matter where we are. We don’t have to buy some of the nonsense that “church” teaches us. Yeah, so it’s been an awesome morning.
My response to someone who said I should quit chasing people away from church: Frances, I am not trying to chase people away from church. This is my personal experience and I think I expressed that in my post. “Church” works for many people. I’m not judging their experiences but trying to make sense of my own. There is so much more to experience, so much out there. I tried explaining it to Gregg. For years, I was in a safe harbor. All those boats, although different, had the same shoreline, the same captains, the same harbor masters, the same light house. And all the boats took excursions outside of the safety of the harbor, to fish, to be fed, to sail, however briefly. What I’ve done is left the harbor and didn’t come back. Have there been times I’ve been lost at sea? You betcha! Have there been times that I have missed the anchor of the harbor? Absolutely! But what I have experienced has been so profound, so encompassing, so encouraging. There are other harbors, with different shorelines, some have light houses, some don’t. But it’s all the same sea, the same ocean. Huge and vast. Each harbor brings something a little different. It doesn’t mean I won’t ever come back to my home harbor. I’m just having one hellava time sailing around the world!!
My response to my Catholic friend who feels that we all tend to pick and choose what fits us the best: Pat, I’ve been consumed with this idea that we all kind of pick and choose. I have a friend who became Catholic after years of being a Methodist Chaplain. She said the thing that moved her was the ritual of faith, the practice. Having been to enough Masses in my life, I truly feel an ebb and flow to the Mass, kind of like a dance I don’t quite know but is so very familiar. This same friend talked to me a great deal about how tied our Christian faith story is to those stories in the ancient East. Which makes me realize the practice of any faith, whether it’s Mass, a Protestant Liturgy, yoga and meditation, they all can work within the individual to bring them to a place in which one becomes closer to the divine. That’s so very reassuring for me.
AnonymousWOW! Anne – Thanks for sharing that! I absolutely love the part where you said: What I’ve done is left the harbor and didn’t come back. Have there been times I’ve been lost at sea? You betcha! Have there been times that I have missed the anchor of the harbor? Absolutely! But what I have experienced has been so profound, so encompassing, so encouraging. There are other harbors, with different shorelines, some have light houses, some don’t. But it’s all the same sea, the same ocean. Huge and vast. Each harbor brings something a little different. It doesn’t mean I won’t ever come back to my home harbor. I’m just having one hellava time sailing around the world!!
I’ve just started to have a few dreams that I actually remember. But as for your question about what our dreams tell us, I can’t really speak to that. When I have one that is profoundly moving, I write it down and chew on it for a few days and then write down the insights I gleaned from it.
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AnonymousOOPS – forgot to delete those last three words at the bottom.
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