Letter: I wouldn’t be who I am if I hadn’t been who I was
Good morning my friends. At least it is morning to me. I was just outside to watch a flock of geese fly overhead. It was beautiful and melancholic at the same time. Winter's coming. I've been thinking all week about what I'm going to write about today. That is… I...
Letter: Moving On by Moving Through
I have difficulty with these two extremes: 1. wallowing in misery 2. floating in fantasy That is… we can get stuck in our own suffering and even become attached to it. The world becomes a very dark and nasty place, and we become its helpless victims from which there...
Letter: The One Thing That Will Kill a Marriage
One of the areas of our life most affected when we go through major spiritual change is our relationships. Fellow-workers, employers, family, friends, and even enemies. Significant others, partners or spouses. So today's letter is about our romantic relationships or...
Letter: How Belief Prevents Change
Today I want to talk about belief. Specifically, I want to talk about how belief is the biggest barrier to change. I realize that many of us are still believers or agnostic or atheists. So I want to be sensitive to that. Therefore, I'm going to share my own story. I...
Letter: the problem isn’t religion but the attitude it fosters
I think this letter is going to be short and to the point. I'm writing this for me. I hope it helps you too. If you need it. I've been thinking about this a lot. If I could summarize why I left the ministry and the church as I did in just one word, what would it be?...
Letter: The Church’s Victim Mentality We Must Discard
Today's letter is about a very sensitive topic: victim-mentality (***So right from the beginning I want to assert that I know there are real victims in this world and even among our membership. I know what it is like to be victimized. I and my family! There have been...
Letter: How to Talk to a Religious Person
This first thing to realize when talking with anyone is that it requires cross-cultural communication skills. Let me tell you a story about something that happened to me yesterday: I was taking my dog Abby for a walk. A neighbor (let's call her Sue) was driving by and...
Meet a Member: Danielle Heyns
It was a pleasure talking with one of our members, Danielle Heyns. It's great talking with you guys. It helps other members to realize that we aren't crazy, but experiencing very normal transitions as we strive for our own spiritual independence. CLICK HERE TO...
Exercise: construct during your deconstruction
This is a picture of a couple of watercolor paintings I did some time ago. I miss it. Let me tell you a story. Making art was an important part of my healing and reconstruction process. I didn't know this at the beginning of my deconstruction. It didn't know this...
