@servantgirl I enjoyed the hangout and your participation. I too have really noticed the gentleness of the conversations here on TLS. People are responding with grace to one another, even within the diversity.

This is also the 2 year anniversary of my realizing that I couldn’t call myself a believer. My faith just kind of faded out. Two years earlier I had gone through a really bad church experience. At the time I was on a beta-blocker (metoprolol) for a heart condition. This medication had the side affect of causing brain fog. When I stopped taking it, my mind cleared, and I could think better. That’s when it dawned on me that I was involved in some kind of irrationality. What I had gone through did not make sense any more. Religion had made my life worse, not better. I saw that some Christians were in fact acting biblically, but that was not a good thing! These people were mostly consistent literalists but fundamentally unloving. So I faulted, not just the people but more so the sacred text upon which they were founded. Much of the biblical text is unclear and open to a diversity of interpretation. Loss of context and language/translation problems compound the issues.

So it’s two years and counting. I don’t call myself a believer nor do I call myself an atheist. Maybe a free thinker trying to make sense of it all. I feel drawn to critical thinking and the scientific method, areas in which I must do further research. I like your emphasis on loving self and others

It’s 2 years for me, too..though I’m not exactly sure of the date that I realized. I think it’s amazing that even though I felt so alone, knowing that @servantgirl and @Hugh finished deconstructing religion (if you will) around the same time as I did..it’s so..encouraging after the fact! I mean, I have felt a connection to you, @servantgirl from day one…and I’ve known that I was definitely not the only one, even as it felt that way..(after all it is a very personal journey!) but I don’t know..for some reason it just kind of hit me just now…so cool!

Indeed, it is about finding clarity..in my experience, I had to deconstruct the religion I was immersed in before I could see anything other than fear and confusion! (so I was basically blind, but at least I could finally tell that there were shapes and lights out there somewhere!) It really, really is validating and so refreshing to learn that we’re not the only ones to struggle to reach clarity. And I didn’t say so during the hangout last night, but you and @Richard each said a lot of what I was thinking in response to being asked if you have a sense of the spiritual. It amazes me how much I can LIVE, even in my seemingly uninteresting little corner of the world, whereas before I was constantly reminding myself that this is only temporary and that any small joys I have in this life will be nothing in comparison to the “reward” for avoiding the glitz and glamour of this world, or at least not indulging..And now I don’t even think about it! I just live, and the small joys seem so BIG..and people are PEOPLE..and it’s just so much more BEAUTIFUL!