This topic contains 4 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by 
irreverance 3 months, 2 weeks ago.
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Maybe I’m tired and more than a little worn out. Or maybe I’m re-learning how to own the emotions of caring.
I live alone in a two-bedroom apartment in the outer suburbs of Sydney. I like living alone. I’ve always enjoyed my own company after all. But I did miss my cat who has to live with my parents, as she is a cat not only used to the outdoors, but also company at home. I have a full-time job and am away for 11 hours a weekday. So I recently acquired a foster cat, an indoor cat who is okay with me being absent so much of the day.
She is a wonderfully sweet thing and had thrived having her own person to care for her. Her previous home was as one of a number of foster cats and spent most of the time in her cage. Not so with me! Pats and playing are high on the agenda and she loves sleeping on my lap, which I always love in a cat.
Unfortunately, she had a bad evening just now. I’m still learning which cat food she likes and doesn’t like and tonights seemed to be a bit meh. And then I trod on her foot. That hurt me, especially as it was enough to make her limp for a few minutes. But she forgave me pretty quickly. And then a few minutes later she ran into my hand as she was just jumping up onto my lap. And the third event was throwing up the mouthful of cat feed she had eaten on my rug. *sigh* I’d already suspected the food I’d opened was spoilt and this just confirmed it. So it was a different tin of food for dinner, which she greatly enjoyed and then settled down on the lounge to recover. (And yes, I googled if cat’s get concussion. Yes: but vomiting isn’t a normal symptom.)
I was getting upset over my little cat being unhappy and possibly injured. And it made me realize I’d fallen in love with her. This isn’t just some animal I’m feeding and letting live under my roof. She is a creature with personality and love.
And together we’re helping rebuild my empathy.
My dog teaches me a lot. Irreverance knows what I’m talking about.
Oh yes, I totally get this. I have both a cat and a dog. The cat came first. I inherited her from a broken relationship. For the first year of her live, Annabelle (cat) was had 4 owners. The first 3 didn’t want her because she pissed on things periodically. I don’t know how she was treated, but when I first met the cat, she chose to live under a bed, avoiding all contact except to come out to eat and go to the bathroom. Only rarely did she break from the norm and come hang out, and even then it was only for a few minutes.
Her situation broke my heart, so while we were all together, I decided I wanted to help her heal. Slowly I earned her trust, and eventually she bonded with me. So, when the breakup happened, Annabelle went with me. I am extremely protective over her. She is the first animal I have ever had (outside of childhood). She’s my baby.
More recently, Loki (puppy) joined us. The two of them are like night and day. Now I struggle (and I mean really struggle) with balancing the two of them. They are really taking their time working out a mutually-beneficial living arrangement. Only recently have we seen a significant decline in attempts to play “chase the kitty” or “bop the hissing cat on the head with big ol’ paw”. Progress is good…exhausting, but good.
My pets are family to me. I like to believe they I have helped Annabelle and Loki to become a better cat and dog. What I know is that they have helped me to become a better human being. I don’t think I started to become aware of this until Loki arrived. In fact, noticing it prompted me to start writing a new book, A Theology of Dog: Growing Spiritually with my Puppy.
I have a bit of a different struggle going on, with similarities . . .to love, really, really love, or hold back.
The little 5 year old I work with (since May) is starting to respond to me with unexpected cognitive leaps, with muscle relaxation, good sleep, with smiles and trust. I am beyond excited . . .her foster mother wants me named nurse of the year.
Do I pursue a full-time position with her, and drop off with the other kids? It’s risky to love this much . . .
@Tracey, that’s WONDERFUL news! I don’t know what the situation is with the young child, but it sounds like you have pulled off quite an accomplishment. If you are feeling very special right now, you deserve it.
Still, that’s a tough position to be in. Do you plunge into helping one person, or try to spread your time out to help more? Not easy to answer that one. Please let us know how it turns out.
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