Obedience and Conformity

[hagereParticipant]

How are you coping in a world where everyone wants you to conform to their way of thinking, believing, behaving, talking and dressing, etc?

I’ve always found it very frustrating when control freaks are trying to make others conform to their norms, and if people refuse to buy into their BS, these control freaks would call them insubordinate, rebellious, or whatever.

As Osho ( Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh) clarifies in one of his writings, rebellion is not about opposing people; rather it is about opposing rigid mindsets that discriminate people, or control people, or impose burdens on people to perform or conform to meet unrealistic expectations. Rebellion, as I understand it, is about challenging an oppressive system to allow freedom for people to express their individuality and not become soulless. No one really likes to live in a society where everyone thinks the same, dresses the same style, and uses the same lingo – it would be boring and dehumanizing to live like robots (or “mindless drones”, as someone  puts it) . It would also create disharmony within ourselves when we are not allowed to be true to ourselves and express our own uniqueness and think for ourselves.

Do you find it challenging  to  stand on your own  and not allowing yourself to be squeezed into other people’s mold?

• This topic was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by  David Hayward.
• This topic was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by  David Hayward.

[Anonymous]

It’s a balance.  I am uncomfortable challenging the norm and don’t think that’s an aunthentic part of my personality.  I don’t challenge for challenge’s sake.  But I do go against the flow when that seems to be a part of who I am.  For example, most of my friends still oppose marriage equality.  I do not.  I champion it.  My friends find it irritating.  That’s their problem.

There are controlling people everywhere – trying to feel safer by controlling everything around them.  There are as many alpha moms barking out how it should be at soccer proctice as there was controlling people at church.  The big difference is that I don’t feel like I am displeasing or disappointing God when I don’t conform now.  Many of the churches I attended were very high control.  The leaders taught that our obedience to God could be seen in our obedience to them.  That chain has been broken off me a long time ago.

[A Different MichelleParticipant]

I love the entire understanding of rebellion as you describe above: both from you and from Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh. It is something that has been a part of me since I was…in middle school, maybe, but certainly by the time I entered ninth grade, here in the US. I did not understand why the other kids were rushing to try to be like each other instead of being like whomever they were, and then the kids who were different (me included) were picked on by some.

Why? Why the conformity and the enforcement, when what you say is true–“No one really likes to live in a society where everyone thinks the same, dresses the same style, and uses the same lingo – it would be boring and dehumanizing to live like robots (or “mindless drones”, as someone  puts it) . It would also create disharmony within ourselves when we are not allowed to be true to ourselves and express our own uniqueness and think for ourselves.”?

[David HaywardKeymaster]

Thanks for your post Hagere. I used to especially in church. Since I left the church I don’t feel that pressure anymore.

[katiepearlParticipant]

I’ve never been in a particularly authoritarian church; though some people have been quite dogmatic about what Christians should or shouldn’t do, I generally feel free to ignore it if I wish.

For instance, when someone said that ‘no Christians should read or view horror’ I went out and bought some Stephen King, and have become quite a fan – have read nearly everything he’s written, and used elements of some stories as sermon illustrations.  Some people disapprove, but others have been affirming of the principle that I would not be told what to do – which is nice.

 

[Anonymous]

hagere – you asked, “How are you coping in a world where everyone wants you to conform to their way of thinking, believing, behaving, talking and dressing, etc?”

My answer: I was not coping well with that at all. That is the reason I left the church. I am a fairly compliant, non-confrontational type person (actually I tend to be a people pleaser), but I finally just came to a point where I was sick to death of  “cookie-cutter Christians” and church people trying to force me into that ssame “cookie-cutter” mold. I finally realized it just didn’t work for me anymore.

[Anonymous]

Just as David said, I don’t feel this pressure anymore, either. But boy, do I remember it. Which, gratefully, then (re)clarifies my resolve to move even more toward places/communities/experiences/relationships in which I am most myself.

[Ruth AnneParticipant]

I don’t feel any pressure either – part of it came when I hit the age of 45…. Part of it came from being so pressed and pressured by a ministry organization that played its hand way too far…. After a while a person says… enough!

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