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As my life has been redefined in many ways over the past three years I have found I have more freedom to make choices I would not have had in the past. That is both exciting and scary. One of those choices is my career and a broader desire to get outside of my current circumstances. I worked in NYC last week and it renewed my life long desire to live there. I’m drawn to the energy and life that it represents and the diversity that allows me to be at home in who I am. This is coupled with an increasing desire to have a vocation that feeds my heart. I have considered seeking a masters in counseling but that hurdle looms large. In the columns of pros and cons, I have a very steady and desirable job. I’ve worked at my company 26 years, I’ve reached a level of professional respect and expertise that is valued. I get to travel the world, which I love. In a nut shell, it’s safe and provides some financial security. But, the job drains my heart. Every time I day dream about making a drastic life change I get overwhelmed with the details. The potential risk, the potential regret. I’m not in a position to walk away for at least 2 while I wait on my son to graduate, but, perhaps planning toward that now makes it more possible. I’m about to be 49, a scary time to walk away from safety. I have a lot of conflicting thoughtss and feelings. Soooo, any advice, any one walked down this road?
Well. when I entered seminary for an M.Div on the counseling track, my employer allowed me to work 4 10 hour days (for two years!) so I could take the one day off for my counseling classes. I always encourage people to reach out to their employer. Sometimes they’re willing to be flexible. And even if that is not possible or you’re still uncertain this is the path for you, start with an evening class just to see if it’s really what you’re looking for. There are a lot more options now with a lot of schools cropping up and online options.
I walked out on my full time ministry when I was 53. It was scary but I had to do it. I’m happier now but it was high risk.
i don’t have nearly the experience to say ‘just do it’ but i want to echo that i see your strengths. you have a loving heart that would do so many good to just be heard. you have the gift of hearing someone’s heart. that’s valuable. i can’t wait to see what you do. and i support whatever choice you make.
I was 35 when I left full time ministry, and the only degrees I have are theological, but I will never regret my decision to leave altogether. Even though it is tough financially, the emotional/spiritual freedom is worth it. Follow your heart my friend.
You are never to old to make radical changes. Of course, it makes sense to plan and organise, but if your financial situation changes, it can provide an opportunity to rethink.
I am now 50, and studying for a PhD. Part time. I am doing it because I enjoy it. I am also writing fiction, because I enjoy it. If my writing were to take off (hint hint, if everyone was to buy my books …..) then I would happily give up my real job. Once I have graduated, I might look at changing into a uni teaching role, if I could find one.
In the end, it is your life. I am not suggesting that you behave recklessly, but when you look back at your time, surely there is nothing worse than thinking you could have done something else, and didn’t bother. Except maybe that you had a nice secure job and threw it all in for a dream.
Bill, I can relate on so many levels! So, I feel your pain.
Two years is not that long, really, but in the day to day, it can somehow seem like a lifetime. It might be just enough time to make a life transition. I think life is too short to have any regrets, and while no one would advise throwing all caution to the wind, I think following your dreams is a good example for your children and will make you happier overall.
AnonymousBill, first: so glad you have the vision and courage to step out and move into your true spirit! That said, it will be easier to relieve your anxiety if you become grounded a bit as you consider this. I was (and still am, a bit) a career counselor. Your best bet is to interview some people like you, who did this as a second career. Find some kindred spirits (like here
)…. You might easily locate people like this where you plan to take courses, especially if the place offers night classes. Try to find people who went into different subdivisions of the field, different kinds of work locations and populations. Learn what their jobs are like, what will be required of you, and what you’ll receive from it — the rewards and the challenges (it’s tough, can be wonderfully gratifying, but also can burn you out if it’s not a good match.) Once you know more about your chosen vocation, you’ll be able to firm up your vision, your goals, and choose your next steps with clarity and confidence. All the best….blessings. d
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