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AnonymousHey folks. I know I’ve been quiet since I first popped in here about a week ago, but I’ve been watching and reading. Not sure how much I have to offer on so many of the conversations here, because I really don’t want to fuck with people’s paradigms too much. Can I say fuck here? If not, I’ll make sure to refrain as best I can, but it is one of my favorite words. No, seriously, I realize that this is mostly a community of people who, in one way or another, are still within a Judeo-Christian framework, and in no way do I want to cause ripples that could possibly rip the floor out from under people…I know what that’s like and everyone’s journey is their own to endure. At times like these, for all of us, our faith (however we define it) can be a fragile thing.
Having said that, I’ve actually been working on a book for several months now. The recent video interviews of me in the Huffington Post go into some of the questions in my journey a bit, but what I’m working on is far more expansive. The first chapter of the book is about the power of fear.
My target audience is primarily those who are finding themselves questioning…those who, with shaky legs, are dissatisfied with the answers they’ve been given and are looking for something higher, more universal, more expansive. Simply put, if my questions, answers and struggles would offend someone – they aren’t really my audience. If the idea of my book seems like heresy to someone – they would be better served by not reading it.
But here’s my question: is there even a need for something like this? I don’t really care to write this more as a memoir. There’s no reason for people to give two shits about my life as some nifty Lifetime TV story. However, the myths, the symbols, the stories we ALL share in are so rich…and the dogma we’ve created around them are so life-draining. The life-GIVING stuff lies behind the symbols, not in them. Of this, I am certain.
I just really struggled, as I’ve been writing this thing, wondering – is something like this even necessary? I don’t know. Sometimes I think I may just been writing it for me.
Thoughts?
I just started being active not long ago. I believe you will be welcomed as you are, swear words and all. This is a safe place, by definition. Every voice should be heard at least in one place.
Not sure what you mean with the more expansive view of everything, but I can certainly say unequivocally that while the symbols of religion (and faith) are life giving, the dogma and stuff is soul killing, at least for me. I’m sure whatever you want to say will be welcome.
Also, welcome.
AnonymousShaeman – I for one (and I’m sure there’s many more) want you to share your spiritual viewpoints in these forums- even if they are not “Judeo-Christian.” Yes, when I first arrived here, some people’s atheist/agnostic viewpoints did cause me some confusion and angst, but I don’t regret that. I have gleaned so much from hearing and weighing all the various viewpoints this community represents. It is made up of atheists, agnostics, many ex-Evangelicals, and many people who don’t know whether they still subscribe to Christianity or not. I’m in that last category, and I love that people like Richard and ServantGirl (both athiests) bring up things I have never even thought about before! It makes me have to think and grapple with concepts, and that in turn, helps me figure out what I believe and what I don’t. So please don’t hold back on sharing your journey and the conclusions you’ve come to.
As far as writing a book, I don’t know what to tell you. I’m sure your content would be fascinating and thought-provoking – and I would read it – but as you said, the market is flooded with books on spirituality. I ran into the same thing when I wrote a book on my personal journey to healing from sexual/spiritual/emotional abuse years ago. Recovery/self-help books were a dime a dozen at that time, so I didn’t even try to get it published. But I’m not sorry I wrote it. It was definitely cathartic, and occasionally I run into opportunities to loan my manuscript to people struggling to recover from sexual/spiritual abuse. The fact that they find it helpful is all the reward I need. Plus it’s a legacy I can leave to my family. I’m content with that. Of course these days, you can self-publish if you really want to get your book into print.
Anonymousp.s. The power of FEAR has been HUGE for all of us, so YES, it is something that is needed!!!
Anonymous@The-Shaeman You know man, “writers gotta write.”
I say go for it. You once told me that by the way in so many words. You told me something like “I have decided that I am going to write every day, even when I don’t feel like it – I have to.” I kind of held on to that and kept writing because it sounded like a good idea. I don’t write every day, but I do it pretty often. As far as your book goes, it sounds like a great idea. That topic is huge. It’s one of those things that people are sort of blind to. Even when told “you are living/speaking/acting out of fear” they will vehemently deny it even to themselves.Of course (name dropping here) when I was talking to Doug Pagitt about writing a book one day, he told me something pretty awesome. He said “If you want to write books John, just remember that nobody makes money writing books.” I looked at him and thought, well I didn’t expect to make a fortune with my book idea. He them said, “you make money selling books, and if you can’t sell your books, or don’t want to, you will have boxes of them staring you in the face.” Then he offered me some of his books FOR FREE!
Love that guy.
AnonymousJust fekin do it.
AnonymousSeriously, both in terms of the book and your freedom to speak openly here at TLS. This place isn’t safe because we’re sheltered, it’s safe because it’s open. I don’t have many safe relationships at the moment. Most people think I’m suffering from some mental illness, or stress because my son just died, they pat my arm and advise me not to say too much until I’m feeling better. I really don’t think it has much to do with the circumstances in my life. I think what we’re seeing is the bankruptcy of the business of Christianity. Many of us still speak Christianese even as we wander away, but we are really trying to find The Way. So please, don’t hold back.
AnonymousDear @wayne-rumsby – First of all, I had NO idea about your son. I am so terribly sorry. I cannot imagine the loss you’ve endured and there’s no justifiable response to the pain and questions you must have other than respectful, heartfelt, sincere friendship and a very sincere compassion. Second of all, no one knows what you’ve been through – even if they themselves have lost a child, they are not YOU and each experience is unique. For anyone to tell you how to act, what to say, what not to say or how not to act is an absolute injustice and affront. To “not say too much until you’re feeling better” would be to betray the experience you’re having and they do not own the right to manage you, your emotions, your reactions or your trajectory like that.
Second, your comment “what we’re seeing if the bankruptcy of the business of Christianity” is one of the most astute phrases I’ve ever read, when encapsulating the current decline of churchianity.
Man, I am so proud to have you here as a companion. I’ve only been here a short time, but already I am thankful for your insight, your perspective, and your search.
Shae: I am ever-aware in my own writing that the question of “is this needed” comes straight from the pit of hell (if I believed in hell in the first place). Now, instead, the question I ask is, “do you need this, Ronna?” And the answer is always, unequivocally, “Yes.” Which is why I keep writing… I’m not fooled: it’s all for me. My questions. My doubts. My hopes. My desires. And…I continue to believe that they will matter to others, as well.
And fear? Uh, yes. SO powerful – as the thing that both holds us back and serves as the strongest indicator that we’re on the right track!
Write. Write. Write.
Shae…personally, I want it ALL…the good, the bad, the ugly, and the stuff that makes me squirm. I need to hear the wide variety of opinions and ways of thoughts that are so very different from my past influences. And hearing others’ journeys out of their stagnant thinking has made me less afraid of my own.
Additionally, I want to read all I can about fear because realizing its grip on my life is what has taken me most by surprise over the last couple of years. I honestly believed I had little fear, outside the occasional thought of a snake!! As I started pushing back the authority in my life, I realized that fear was systemic and responsible for a kind of prison that I didn’t even know I had willingly entered. I probably mention it in every post I make here because I am determined to root it out. Fear is indeed powerful and I am tired of the its tyranny in my life.
I think all of us write for ourselves to some degree and sometimes other people hitchhike off the narrative.
Fear is a litmus test of sorts for me. If I detect a fear base for any claim I begin to suspect a con. I have never found anything to be harmful in my inner self other than what I believe is harmful. It revealed to me that the only harmful entry into my inner life has to come from lies and me believing those lies.
I think the types of questions we ask don’t get answered because the question often assumes things that may not exist. It really makes the question irrelevant. One example is, “Why doesn’t my car drive better?” First of all a car doesn’t drive itself and second the term better is vague. This would be like asking, “Why doesn’t god help me with my life?” This question assumes that god exists, this god could help, this god would know how to help. The term “help” is too vague. These questions will never be answered because they assume ill defined premises.
You have to have specific knowledge to ask good questions. Questions always have an implied statement.
One of the ideas that I have meditated on is, “What if there is no why?” I think you’ll find some interesting emotional reactions to that contemplation. You’ll soon find out what you’re emotionally attached to and generally this idea presents a lot of fear.
An interesting thought experiment suggested by “The Course in Miracles” was to look at specific things in your life and place this thing in the blank of the following sentence.
<blank> does not mean anything.
In reality we are the ones who give meaning to the things in our life. A particular chair has no meaning in of itself. We apply a narrative and history to a chair from our past experiences and give that chair meaning. When we encounter the idea that maybe everything is meaningless we are going to feel fear.
I believe that healing is freedom from fear and healing is not a miracle. Healing is the natural result of not investing in fear. Fear distorts reality and with distortion comes belief in untruth and the creation of a lot of suffering.
This is the basis of “A Course in Miracles” It is an interesting thing to contemplate.
Nothing real can be threatened
Nothing unreal exists
Herein lies the peace of God.
The word God doesn’t really have meaning for me, but I like the practical nature of many of these ideas. I would change the last line to “Herein lies peace.”
Anonymous@Shae Cottar
(and other writers)
This was in my Facebook feed today and I love it:
“Better to write for yourself and have no audience than to write for the public and have no self.” ~ Cyril Connolly
So, at times, my FibroDAZE blog feels like I’m writing it just for myself and at times I probably am.
As for a book about fear, I’d say go for it.
AnonymousShea – If you write that book about fear, I hope you will address the very real fear of things the church has branded as being related to “the occult” – like yoga, martial arts, meditation, metaphysical teachings, Reiki, chakras, crystals, energy work, Tarot cards, thinking demons can actually attach themselves to certain objects/books/spiritual practices, etc.
I’m finding I still have to deal with all the “Danger Will Robinson Danger fears” the church instilled in me. Even though I know the church lied to me about a lot of things, so chances are they lied about “occult stuff” too, that fear is still there. But I’m not letting that stop me from testing the waters and determining for myself whether it is something I really should avoid or not. It’s a matter of listening to my spiritual instincts and decided whether this is a valid fear and something to stay away from, or if it’s just a “learned fear” that has no basis in reality.
I’d love for you to share your thoughts/experiences regarding this!
Jo, speaking of that, I have always wondered about the church, or at least some churches, believing that they had people who were prophetic, could tell the future of what some people would/should do, etc. And yet those same churches would tell you that people who would foretell your future and things about spirits were evil. I’ve always liked watching Long Island Medium and they would tell me that she was demon possessed, and from the devil and all sorts of bad things.
Now, I feel like the ones who said they were prophetic at the church are actually the ones who are the evil ones. Just my opinion, of course, but Long Island Medium makes more sense than those Prophetic Pastors did……. And since I know now that the church I left was part of a cult, OMG…. frightening!
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