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Due to where my spiritual journey is going, I am extremely careful of who I tell. I realized the other day that my own parents are going to be two of the last people I tell. If ever.
The way it happened is that I was out for lunch with my sister, her boyfriend and our parents. We were talking about tabletop games including card games. For some reason I brought up the game Cripple Mr Onion that was invented by Terry Pratchett for novels and then turned into a real game by fans. The full version requires eight suits, however, which is four more than the modern French deck. After I said what I thought I remembered the other four were, I happened to add that a Tarot deck has these suits.
At which point Mum closed the topic down. Never mind it was a purely historical reference and nothing to do with what Tarot cards are commonly used for in Au and the US!
In a way, she is more sheltered in her Christian beliefs than I ever was. But it’s just not my job to bring her out of that.
Wade.
Wade, I’ve been thinking about this since you posted it. I really don’t know what to say. I want to say that I’m sorry your family doesn’t “get it” yet I think you’ve made peace with this. I notice you walk a fine line of telling your story and yet withholding information. This conversation sounds respectful. You let it just be. Kuddos to you on this journey. Wow you are really doing it and I find this admirable.
peace
Thanks, Starfielder. It is a balancing act. I’ve been getting practice at the balance at church, so I wasn’t entirely unprepared for mum’s reaction. And I’d already seen her critical of where my brother and his family took their faith. They’ve gone fairly fundamentalist, although not rabidly so. We don’t talk to them about it anymore, but it does make it hard to buy books et al for my nieces because of what my sister-in-law has “disallowed”.
I also have a fairly close friend who has been Pagan for quite some years, after having been raised in the Salvation Army (which is where her extended family still is). She didn’t know about my journey until a few nights ago when I asked how long it took for her parents to accept her path. She replied that I was assuming they did! Yet I know they still get on. That gave me a fair bit of hope, actually. When I mentioned I don’t think I may ever tell my mother, she said it was her grandparents she’d probably never tell.
I’m still on the hunt for someone at church I can confide in.
Wade.
Thanks for talking about this Wade, its a tricky area. On the one hand I want to be authentic and not hide major portions of myself from my parents, on the other hand, I don’t want to deal with the fallout of actually doing that. No answers or even suggestions for you, just that “yes, I know that feeling”.
It is a tricky area! I don’t bring it up mostly- I just remember how dogged I was and know that anyone I would tell would just argue and not hear me- including my husband to a certain degree, he knows all the church stuff, just not that I am not even sure I believe anything anymore. My sister-in-law sees my repins of David’s cartoons and asked me something the other day. I just said “I appreciate atheists for making good arguments that helped me not fall forever into a cult.” She knows we were intense revivalists and now don’t go to church. But my husband is still dogmatic and outspoken so she doesn’t know i am edging toward atheism.
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