I’m reading the book “A House in the Sky” by Amanda Lindhout. The words she uses cause the story to vividly stir, move and carry the reader along. She was held captive for 460 days by Muslim extremists. The first 8 weeks of her captivity were scary. And then the book twisted in a way I didn’t expect. It reminded me of stories from my childhood. I…[Read more]

Happy Birthday Awesome Friend! Thanks for the Lasting Supper. Thanks for the FB page. Thanks for listening. Thanks for offering a compassionate response and a smart ass one. My life is better because you’ve been part of it!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! WOOT WOOT!

Before you say “I told you so” I hope you’ll hear me out.

I went to church today. My kids have been hanging out with the presbyterians and most of those kids go to this church. My husband and I haven’t been in a good couple of months. Today, we sat in the back-ish section. I keep thinking I can sit through a service and be ok. But then this…[Read more]

I woke up in the middle of the night last night with these eight words floating like a ticker tape across my brain.

I don’t want to meet you for coffee.

I wasn’t honest with myself. I was caught up in “what would people think?”

But vacation, a true, away, non busy vacation has let the murky water of my psyche settle.

My ex-friend and…[Read more]

Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That

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I think I couldn’t imagine this day.

This day where I look outside and see the sun shinning and the trees moving in the breeze and I’m full of gratitude. For months I have felt the silence as if I was holding my breath. Not the panic-stricken breath-holding when you’re underwater trying to …[Read more]

Favorite quote from the hang out on “Can I be a Feminist and Spiritual” is the following paraphrase:

“I’m recognizing that I have felt a profound need to build the framework and the structure first so that I can defend what it is that I want to say.  To feel like I have to defend first, to say what I already know, plays havoc with me.  It’s the …[Read more]

TOPEKA — Jon and Darla Crocker, who dutifully abstained from sex during their 14-month courtship, have remained abstinent after marriage and plan to do so indefinitely.
“If it was holy before, it must be double-holy afterwards,” Darla says.
They have now completed 25 months of marriage without any sexual contact, going about their normal lives, j…[Read more]

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/04/14/opinion/sunday/luhrmann-when-god-is-your-therapist.html?smid=fb-share&_r=0

For the past bit, say these past few weeks I’ve been wondering if I’m an atheist. I hold this thought with care and just let it be. And then today happened.

First of all I ran the San Francisco Rock n Roll Half Marathon. I ran with several people and it was a great time. But at about mile 11 an ambulance went SCREAMING by us. It was haulin’. As…[Read more]

Anthropologist Tanya Luhrman is in the New York Times this week. She says, “We need to recognize something of what we share, and to carry on a conversation — and if we can keep the conversation going, we will, however slowly, move forward.
If we can’t, we’re in real trouble.”
She sums up her thoughts in this little bit…
Yet believers and nonbe…[Read more]

After listening to the hang out on Monday night with Pam Werner and Flight from Mars Hill I am left with some questions.

Why do we stay?

Why did we go looking there in the first place?

What was it we were looking for that lead us to want to belong to THAT.

Christine Murietta, on her blog mentions trauma reactions 1. fight 2. flight 3.…[Read more]

Tonight. Why tonight after all of this time and all of this water under the bridge did I get a message!? Really1? Now? After all this water under the bridge? All those tears, loneliness, heartache? Really? After slogging through letting it go? After not holding against people that they just didn’t know better… WHAM! The words come…I GOT AN…[Read more]

So, one of my favorite quotes is by John Cusack and he attributes it to Garry Wills, “Who are your heroes in real life?

Let’s go with Jesus. Not the gay-hating, war-making political tool of the right, but the outcast, subversive, supreme adept who preferred the freaks and lepers and despised and doomed to the rich and powerful. The man Garry W…[Read more]

I need some advice. We live in an area where there are a lot of mormons. It’s turning out that my kids close friends, middle school and high school, are mormons. My kids like the mormon kids because they are polite and aren’t doing drugs and having wild crazy sex with each other and boozing it up. (as far as my kids know!)

But, here’s the…[Read more]

So, this journey out of our church started 3 or so years ago. But, last year, about New Year’s, I painted this in my journal and David’s post about chrysalis, moths, butterflies reminded me of it. I felt like I spent a long time (still am in many ways) inside, fermenting, changing, wrestling, wriggling. This last year was a wriggling free. I’m stil…[Read more]

Last Night as I was Sleeping

Last night as I was sleeping,
I dreamt, – marvelous error ! –
that a spring was breaking
out in my heart.
I said: Along which secret aquaduct,
Oh water, are you coming to me,
water of a new life
that I have never drunk?

Last night as I was sleeping,
I dreamt – marvelous error ! –
that I had a…[Read more]

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End of the World – Unedited Full Play List – December 2012
The End of the World As We Know It  – REM
Last Night of the World – Bruce Cockburn
Fly Me To The Moon – Frank Sinatra
Don’t’Let the Sun Go Down On Me – Bettye LaVette
Satisfied Mind – Ben Harper & The Blind Boys of Alabama
Bad Moon Risin…[Read more]

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What I know now is so different than what I knew then.

I so want to whisper back and tell my idealistic 14 year old self that following religion will never get me the answer I wanted.
I want to look back and hug that wonderful, searching, insecure, brave and hopeful girl and tell her how…[Read more]