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I let myself be persuaded to go back on the music roster again at church, although truth be told it wasn’t that hard to do. I did have the courage to drop down to once-a-month, instead of the previous “as much as you’ll have me” which in practice meant roughly one week in two. And in an unusual level of organisation for me, I sorted out my sheet music from last time I played – you know, put the last services’ music back in order with the rest of the collection, then found the email with the song list for tomorrow and fished out those. (I usually do just the latter on the morning after I’ve setup…)
I tend to be a bit of a little kid with music: I’ll listen to favourite music again and again and again and again and again. Sure, it’ll get tired, so then I’ll give that album a rest and go play other stuff, often something I got tired of a few weeks before. One album I re-unearthed in my music player recently was Aphrodite by Kylie Minogue. Good pop, basically, from a highly experienced singer, with the slightest dash of disco. Or techno. I’m not sure. I’m so familiar with it I can summon most songs up as “background music” in my head. Music like that is good thinking music.
Had that album playing in my car this afternoon during a long drive home, too. For some reason the title track, which is in the middle of the album, was looping quietly in my head ever since.
That brings me back to the church music. Always before when I would leaf through it, I would find the tunes and songs pop up in my head. I might sing a line or two to myself. Not this time. This time, Aphrodite would just keep “playing”. Or perhaps the church songs simply couldn’t leap onto centre stage anymore. I mean, I can barely sing them in church, nowadays, since my beliefs have shifted.
It was an interesting observation.
I think I’ll drop off the music roster properly after tomorrow.
Wade.
Wade, I used to lead worship and now, meh I can hardly stay in the building when some of the songs come on… like you, there are other songs that resonate with me much more than songs with lyrics like, “loves like a hurricane I am a tree bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.” Have you seen trees in a hurricane or afterwards? Not an image I want to associate as god’s love. Funny, but the music I listen to now is stuff like, “I am not that girl” from the Wicked soundtrack, or Ben Howard’s “Keep Your Head Up.”
So, peace to you Wade as you lead worship again and bow out.
AnonymousI wasn’t allowed to listen to “secular” music growing up, so when I secretly discovered it at age 16, I instantly fell in love. I still love how music represents the whole spectrum of emotion and human experience. Christian music is so confined in comparison. Christians don’t see the necessity of anger, so there’s hardly any angry songs. When I was grieving, “secular” songs were way better because they let me grieve instead of bombarding me with cliches. I needed the catharsis. The rebel songs encouraged me to become my own person instead of a sheep.
I went to a Christian college for four years where we had to go to chapel every weekday. I also went to church and a Christian group that sang for part of the meeting so that meant I was singing Christian songs about 7 times a week. There was a very limited selection of songs. If anything can make you sick and tired of Christian music, that can.
One of the main reasons I stopped going to church is that the whole experience is so passive and sheep-like. Everyone files in and has to sing or say the same words whether they mean them or not, then they sit and listen to the sermon whether they agree or not, and then most people leave without talking to anyone. From what I understand, the first century church was more participatory and unscripted.
I wish there was an in-person Christian group that was primarily discussion with /maaaybe/ a little preaching and singing on the side. Where it is okay to say exactly what I am thinking, where the group members will appreciate differences of opinion and be open-minded. A group that wouldn’t nag me about “going to church.” The church IS any number of believers gathering together, not a building and a worship service ritual on Sunday morning. But even if I can never find a group like that, it’s great to have you guys.
Alyson, I think you’ve described the way Frank Viola and George Barna believed the early church worked.
There is definitely more variety in secular music about what is sung about in church. There are angry songs, mad songs, scary songs, jealous songs – funny how this all comes up in the book of Psalms, too.
Wade.
I agree. I think the psalms are far more honest than the church lets on or realizes.
wish there was a “like” button for all these comments.
Oh they make it hard…
Musically, it went very well. I had plenty of foldback and there were songs I liked playing. I re-discovered a nice super-synth-y sound I’d setup months ago in my presets and used it a fair bit this morning. And then I got a comment of praise from a most unexpected person. :-/
I love the people, I just can’t agree with the teaching anymore.
Wade.
Glad it went well!
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