Baptism

[AmyParticipant]

I’m not sure if this is the place for it, but it seemed to fit.  If it’s not, let me know.   I guess I think my kids’ beliefs are sort of in the realm of personal spirituality.

This morning, my 9yo son was baptized.  This was entirely his choice; we did not force, coerce, or even suggest it–he approached us and asked.  He actually first asked 2 years ago at our previous church (long story).  Anyway, it was beautiful.  And in a neat surprise, the other baby being baptized is the son of my daughter’s former dance teacher and her wife.  We haven’t seen them in person in almost a year, and now our sons share a baptism day.

Anyway, I guess after hanging around here, I want to handle this well with our son.  I don’t want him to think he’s only special to us because he picked a sacred rite in our religion at age 9.  I’ve avoided saying I’m “proud” of him (that seems silly).  But what if he decides one day he doesn’t believe anymore? Will he regret this day?  Is there a way to keep it meaningful without applying pressure to uphold a certain set of beliefs?  I don’t want him to wish he hadn’t made this choice–I think I want him to know that what was right at age 9 was right in the moment, even if he changes his mind about his beliefs later.  Is there a good way to do this?  We had a beautiful, holy day full of love and I just want that to be what he takes away from it.

[David HaywardKeymaster]

Sounds nice @amy. I always say we don’t have to reject anything. It gets all folded in to who we are.

[AmyParticipant]

I hope so. I just sometimes hear people saying they regret things about their experiences, especially when it comes to faith.  I don’t ever want to spiritually harm my kids.  My desire is that J will know that this was the right choice for his 9yo self, even if it wouldn’t be for his 29yo self or his 59yo self or his 79yo self.

[HughParticipant]

I was baptized by full immersion twice. Once in 1982 and again in 1986. The second time was because my beliefs had changed quite a lot in four years. Looking back I do not regret the events, they are just water under the bridge now. I have continued to learn and grow during my walk. At the time and in every phase of my spiritual journey I thought I was being lead by the Holy Spirit. Over the years I have changed my mind about a lot of things. Baptism was just a sign of where I was at at the time. People need freedom to better themselves and to make mistakes if need be. Eventually a nine year old will mature and become equipped to test his own belief system. I sometimes regret getting my children involved with religion because things did not turn out so well, but everyone’s story is a bit different. C’est la vie.

[Anonymous]

By the time I was a high school senior, I had been baptized several times – just about every possible way a person can be baptized. They were my choice and meaningful experiences at the time –  and although I have now basically left Christianity, I don’t regret those baptisms. I don’t think your son will be scarred in any way if he later changes his mind about his spiritual beliefs. I think you did the right thing not to pressure him into being baptized, but also that you didn’t deny him the opportunity when that was his desire.

[AmyParticipant]

Thanks for the encouragement.   It certainly seems like it meant a lot to him.  Obviously it was meaningful for us as his parents, but at least for me, not because it’s a “sign” of his “salvation.”  I am already trying to look at it as part of his own journey rather than ours.

[Author]

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