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I was sitting at my favorite table at the brewpub today when I received a phone call from the godparents of one of my children. They wanted to see if Jamie and I were available for them to talk with this afternoon. Though my wife was on a long, mountain hike, I told them they were welcome to join me at the restaurant. These are people that I have loved for many years. He and I used to work on a church staff together. She and I went to school since the third grade together and have been lifelong friends.
Once they sat down they asked me if I’d heard the rumors. I shook my head no and they looked at each other with relief. I have to admit I was concerned that something had happened to one of their kids or that something was screwy in their relationship. Thankfully neither was the case.
To make a long story short my friend is taking back on the role of children’s pastor at the church that fired me five years ago. This was a position that he held years ago and one that I went to bat for him to get. It ended five years later with him going out and planting his own church – half motivated by his detest of the system and half motivated to stay involved in ministry. The denomination didn’t have value for his expression of church and after a few years unceremoniously shut him down.
The story of their going back to take this role is long, but full of things that make me very happy – for them, for their kids, for the church, for my brother who is the lead pastor now, and for the children in the local community. Their job isn’t the reason I wanted to share here – it is their motivation to talk with me that meant so much. They wanted to make sure that we wouldn’t be hurt by them going back on staff at the church. It was tremendously kind of them.
We had a great discussion about how they were approaching this new chapter of their lives. Since they asked for input I was able to give them each one heartfelt desire in regards to staying in the freedom they’ve gained outside the institutional church. They received my encouragement and told me that they wanted to continue to use us as a sounding board.
I guess the reason that I wanted to share here is that I was really happy to see what grew out of my heart today – I am grateful for this journey the past five years which has included on-going healing. It simply wouldn’t benefit me, my family, or these friends if I couldn’t work through my own pain and disappointment. A lot of you have aided in this journey to make it what it is and I wanted to say ‘thank you!’
One of my best friends is going back on staff at the church that hurt me so bad – and I am rejoicing with him. That is freedom!
Chad
That is huge!! Are you thinking of going back as well?
No, I have no desire to go back myself. I like Sundays too much now to go to meetings on them!
i can feel your freedom as you write. this is a gift to you both. i’m also struck by his willingness to come and tell you what he was doing instead of hiding it. a lot of people would have avoided the entire conversation and never told.
happy for you.
All healing starts with courage. Celebrating your strength.
Sounds like inner peace.
This reminds me of something similar in my own life.
I love that they came and spoke with you and wanted your input. WOW!
this is great!
Thank you for sharing Chad. Since my ouster, I have had the whole gamut of emotions for the leadership of my former church. Sometimes those emotions come from a place of hurt and reflect my “lesser man”. Other times, I’ve been able to be more understanding, and accepting – these are what I believe are increasing as I get better perspective and more peace with where I am at. The journey continues. Your story gives hope.
AnonymousWow, so many healthy signs. It’s lovely to hear a positive story like this. I relate to enjoying my Sunday mornings and not wanting to mess them up
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