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Guys…I’m in a really weird place right now. I’m fully okay with not knowing what’s really happening as far as why I am here, where I am going, who is in charge and so on. I’m actually finding that I’m enjoying the simple things in my life SO much more than I ever could have before. I’m pretty much convinced that nobody has it exactly right, so I don’t think I should cling to anybody else’s idea of what truth is. I won’t actually. But, somehow I feel…off. And it’s bugging me! I don’t really understand it!
Like, lately I feel really happy, even though my husband and I want to move away from where we are and start over in a new town. I feel kind of, content, just getting by and not having the money to play like all the people around me in tech/yuppie land. I am kind of okay with being mostly alone, and having most all of my social interactions online with people from TLS and other places on the internet. I’m actually, dare I say it, excited for the future, even though I’m hearing doom and gloom all around me with the majority of my local peers being either Christians expecting the Apocalypse anyday, or mean spirited atheists with a vengeance against all things kind.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me, guys. I just don’t.
Also, I love you. Yes, you.
AnonymousI don’t think there’s anything wrong with you Mox. I’m glad you are feeling happy, content, and enjoying the simple things in life. How wonderful to live above all the junk in life that normally weighs us down! That is especially cool that not only aren’t you afraid of all the Apocalyptic, doom-sayer predictions, but you even feel excited about the future. I think what you are experiencing is actually how life is supposed to be lived, but perhaps it just feels weird because you aren’t used to being in that kind of place??? I think it’s awesome! WOO-HOO! I’ll have whatever you’re drinking!
Exactly @Jo White …I’m NOT used to feeling this way. But it’s pretty great..just still..it does feel off. Hahaha!
@Jo White
It won’t let me tag you. RAWR!
AnonymousI’ve had rare moments where I felt what you are experiencing, but I’ve never been able to sustain them for very long. Trying to analyze it usually makes it disappear, so I suggest you just ride this wave and enjoy it while it lasts!
@moxierocks…..Is there room in the boat for me too? I’m feeling somewhat similar to yourself, moxie. I recognize my feelings are connected to Easter and all the baggage of emotions that rear up from the “old” days! But on the positive side of things I do feel comfortable and ok more than I feel “odd” iyswim. It is exciting for you and hubby to look forward to the changes you envision for your future.
@JoWhite…I think you have a good handle on your feelings when you suggest riding the wave and enjoying it.
Moxierocks, I think you should remind yourself of your name every now and again – Moxie ROCKS. It’s true you know. I think I know what you mean. I go through these ‘anomie’ phases. I spent Good Friday watching on YouTube “Meet the Natives”- there’s the UK and the USA versions. They’re not new, so that’s how far behind I am in an IT sense. I’m learning Bislama (Vanuatu language) so that was my excuse to indulge in some reality TV. They share their insight based on their perspective and I find it refreshing. Check it out – might be your thing.
PS Doom and gloom – I grew up under this. My sister wet the bed until she was 16 years old. I finally lost it with my dad one night when she was being chided for wetting the sheets again and asked (yelled) at him to keep his doom and gloom to himself. “But she has to know the truth !” was his answer. Sigh. I haven’t lived through WW1 or WW2 but I think they were horrific times for many – and still Jesus didn’t return. People in every generation for over 2000 years have earnestly prayed and believed that Jesus would return. Hey – maybe this would be good as a separate post, then I can go on my Helene rant on this topic. I’d love to hear what everyone else thinks.
@moxierocks I agree with Helene …you DO ROCK!!
AnonymousHelene – I’d love to hear your rant about “the end times.” And I bet so would a lot of other people. So go for it and start a forum on that topic.
@Jacquie sure! Climb on in, the boat is nice and roomy!
@Helene and @SaraJ thank you! I truly appreciate your encouragement!
And, @Helene that story about your sister really hits close to home..I am sorry you and she know what it’s like to have so much shame and guilt (and doom and horrid gloom!) laid so heavily on you. 
I would love to hear your thoughts on the end times…start a thread! And I will have to check out the program you shared about…:)All of you ROCK!
love,
mox
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