This topic contains 21 replies, has 11 voices, and was last updated by 
David Hayward 1 year, 5 months ago.
-
Posts
-
AnonymousSo my whole family is together on a vacation – this never happens. I am the oldest of seven kids so getting all of us together is rare. Most of my family lives in VA, my sister and I live in MA so we have some distance between us which is good. I have about had it with the political debates which I choose not to engage in, being judged by my parents because we don’t believe it’s wrong to drink, and the endless conversations regarding how wrong homosexuality is!! I NEVER bring up topics because I know their opinions will not change so why argue?
I can not tell you how often the conversation has come up in regards to the gay community – I don’t understand the fixation!! I ventured to ask my brother in particular if he has ever actually been friends with someone from the LGBT community before – he says yes but I highly doubt it. He of course uses the “hate the sin love the sinner,” but to me this is not a valid argument. He’s convinced people “choose” to be gay, I completely disagree. I just don’t want to hear it anymore!!
Thanks for letting me vent.
You’re in my thoughts Seeking_Heart!! I know the feeling EXACTLY!
AnonymousHi @Seeking_Heart – I hope you can enjoy your vacation nonetheless. My husband’s family is super-conservative so I get what you’re saying about never bringing up certain topics. I always feel like I’m a split personality..one way with in-laws and church “friends” (the toned-down, non-opinionated, non potty mouth Kathy) and myself with other groups. Thank God I have those places where I can be myself or I would go insane….
AnonymousExactly @Kathy-D, I am certainly feeling like a split personality. It’s so frustrating though, I just want to be myself! Thankfully I have a wonderful community of friends at home. So glad to have found this community as well.
One of the most disappointing things in my life is that my father… mostly my father but not so much my mother… doesn’t appreciate me as I am. We can’t talk about theology or church or Christianity or my blog or in fact the entirety of what I do with my life. They just don’t get it. So it’s best to keep silent about it. That’s our strategy at this point. But when we visit each other… which isn’t very often… it is very awkward at times.
AnonymousThank you, that’s exactly how I feel. It’s hard because I lived for so long for my father’s approval and being true to what I believe is seriously going against the grain.
AnonymousOh @Seeking_Heart – I think we are sisters.
Same, same, same, same.Oh man! I send you a virtual mojito. Because I think mojitos are great on vacations…
Anonymous@KimT – Apparently we were meant to meet each other here!
@starfielder – I laughed out loud when I read your post. Thanks for the virtual mojito, only wish it were a real one!!
AnonymousI’m not sure what a mojito is, but I want one too!
I hear your frustration Seeking_Heart, Some TLSer (whoever that was, please chime in here!) suggested awhile back making a mental game out of conversations with legalistic family members. Before the visit, you predict what stupid, judgmental phrases they will say, and assign a point or monetary value to each one. Then you silently keep score in your head while people are rattling off religious platitudes. That way you are thinking about points or money you’re earning (at their expense!) instead of going ballistic. Of course you can always just mentally tell them to PTFD (Pipe the Fuck Down) too! Whichever game you choose – just remember not to snicker out loud in their presence – ha!
AnonymousHilarious!! I love it, my sarcastic husband will think this is great too.
Game on! Also, a Mojito is a very yummy cocktail, http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alex-garcia/mojito-recipe/index.htmlJo it was me but I got it from Stuff Christian Culture Likes
she actually has rules at least hit would make it fun!@Jo White – a Mojito (mow-hito) it a rum-gingerale-mint-lime-brown suger drink. My husband makes VERY GOOD ones… and it was me who said it… because I spent too many years NEVER drinking alcohol.. and eh, a mojito every now and then is AWESOME.
AnonymousSeeking_Heart and Star – thanks for the “mojito” info! I printed out the recipe cuz it sounds YUM!! I didn’t drink much alcohol for most of my life either, but I love mixed drinks like Pina Coladas, and Strawberry Margaritas/Daquiris. I’ll definitely be trying a mojito soon.
Pam – thanks for the source of that game
@Seeking_Heart I used to be like that. For many years, I firmly believed that gayness was a deliberate and contrary choice.
Then I got better.
This attitude was a product of my sheltered religious upbringing. I had never knowingly worked or socialised with a gay person for many years, though I really probably had. I had also not really explored how my own sexual tastes worked and couldn’t even admit to myself that I was probably afraid of gay people. For one reason or another that I shan’t go into here, I got offered several opportunities to explore myself. During that time, I began working with an openly gay colleague and made a gay friend in my writers’ group.
I came out of the other side of my journey much surer about myself and no longer afraid of those with different sexual tastes to me.
My first instinct is to pity your brother, but I suspect he would not know how to handle that. :-/
There are things I can’t talk about with my parents or siblings. LBGT happens to be one of them, but the scary one right now is religion. Fortunately we have many other things we can talk about and do. Not sure how all this can help you, really, other than to commiserate…
Wade.
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.