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Tim WB 1 year, 4 months ago.
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I once had a very wise friend tell me that it’s ok to just give people the start of a thought – that I don’t need to finish everything straight away.
This is a start of a thought about privilege and justice:
I am becoming increasingly aware:
That I have many privileges granted to me by my culture due to my outer appearance and characteristics
That I benefit regularly from these privileges, whether through my own acts or the acts or attitudes of others
That others around me who differ from me in outward characteristics do not share these privileges
That I watch this happen and do nothing about it, most of the time, even though one of the privileges I often enjoy is a lower risk of adverse consequences if I should choose to do anything
That I do not often take opportunities to engage with others from their perspective, and assist them as fellow human beings to enjoy the privileges I take for granted
That I often use the power and privilege granted to me, in various situations, to actively advantage myself and disadvantage others, without being conscious of what I am doing, and that one of the privileges I often enjoy is that this lack of awareness has very little impact on me
That I often complain (sometimes internally) when I’m denied privileges which others take for granted, such as having my name understood and spelt correctly, but that one of the privileges I often enjoy is that I can overcome these minor issues by applying other privileges, such as being readily understood when I speakThis leaves me with a crazy mixture of emotions (regret, gratitude, nervousness, guilt, pain, anger …)
This leaves me with an even larger set of questions.
This leaves me aware that there are things I’ve been doing for several decades that now look wrong, or at least suspect.
This is the start of my thought – please don’t feel that I’m asking for immediate answers – just seeking a discussion of the topic.
Oh, and privilege might not work exactly the same in my context as it does in yours – I might point that out if I see it – please point it out if you see it.
I’d be really interested in what’s transferable and what’s not.
Oops, it looks like my numbered points got lost in translation.
Let me know if it’s hard to read and I’ll try to fix the HTML.
I’d be interested in the cultural differences in what privilege looks like where I live vs. where you live. I have a heck of a lot of privilege here, because I’m white, straight, and cisgendered (my biological sex & my internal identity match). So even though I’m a woman and have to deal with misogyny, there’s a lot I don’t have to worry about. I also have privilege in church/religious settings because I’ve chosen a family role that looks like what many conservatives think it should (I’m a stay-at-home mom) and my skills in church ministry tend to be stuff women typically do.
It’s definitely an interesting topic, and I’m glad you’re willing to explore it.
It’s funny because I am biracial(black/white) and although I look like a black woman, I have been told I have privileges that other blacks don’t b/c I have light skin. It’s a really terrible thing among black Americans regarding light and dark skin tones. I had never thought about it up until that point, but I don’t get followed around in stores or harassed by cops.
As a woman, I have to say that I have not struggled to bad although I know that there are definitely societal pressures and expectations. I am straight and cisgendered and really applaud those who admit they are not and are asking to live their truth. Even as we move towards equality, it is still not easy. It’s good to be aware of what we have so we can fight for equality with fuller perspective. Very interesting discussion!
I feel that most privilege in my context is based on people’s appearance – I look white, straight, male, cisgendered, talk like a native speaker, and walk like someone who is able-bodied – most of the time. I appear younger than I am, which is generally an advantage socially, but can be difficult in a professional context.
I changed my name a decade and a half ago, and I now have a name that is regularly misunderstood and misspelt, as well as having to provide additional details on some forms (a very minor issue). I don’t meet the stereotype for the format of a male surname in my culture.
I come from a non-traditional family background, and I myself don’t meet expectations for the age of marriage in most local Christian communities.
(I think the word is “single”, although, like many other labels, I don’t really bother to identify that way.)
This has led to a variety of social issues and pressures – some of which were completely unexpected.
Dual incomes are general required to purchase real estate in my local area, but this is less of an issue than the Christian social impact.
This is an unusual situation and not one I believe is widely applicable in other areas.
My views on various political and social issues are generally appreciated and sometimes admired in both Church and general social contexts.
Even when they’re not standard, I am usually guaranteed that I will be heard, and that other people will consider or identify with some of what I say.
As far as I can tell, this is a major difference from a stereotypical US conservative Christian or social context, where my views and sometimes my person would be rejected.
I have a disability, which has significant impacts on my physical and mental health at times, but is variable / intermittent and physically subtle except on close examination. This leads to a lack of understanding of the impact of my disability, but also allows me to pass as able-bodied for short periods, when it isn’t affecting me as much.
My disability leads to significant discrimination and loss of privilege, particularly with physical and social activities.
This also leads to various kinds of intersectionality: reducing my income through leave and medical expenses; reducing my ability to travel and queue to access services; and increasing the opportunity cost of committing to an event, as I sometimes need to cancel at short notice. I am also limited in the physical and emotional energy which I can use up in an hour, day, or week: this reduces my ability to advocate for myself in a variety of circumstances, making it harder to address disadvantage.
I really don’t know if this is applicable globally – in some areas the impact would be much greater, and perhaps less in other areas.
AnonymousI hear you. I am hearing impaired and also have a peripheral neurophathy condition which interferes with my sense of touch. Both of this handicaps are invisible, unless people spot the hearing aids. My point is that people are often confused regarding my ability, because when my handicap kicks in I can look like an idiot. In restaurants, or other noisy settings I can hear the wrong thing resulting in an auditory Mr Magoo moment. There is a similar effect with the lack of peripheral sensitivity, funny things happen which make people laugh, and then they quietly stick a new label on you, or we do on ourselves, or a little of both.
I’m finding and have found that people project all kinds of things onto us based on what they see. Privilege or no privilege we each walk whatever the hand we are dealt. I just spent a week in Mexico working with the abject poor. I am a caucasian, tall, blonde American. I felt like a white rich lady. It was humbling. I worked along side short dark Mexicans. I came home to my house in silicon valley where all my neighbors drive Lexuses and I drive a Honda and I no longer felt like a white rich lady. Poof just like that I went from feeling crazy wealthy to meh, sorta average nothing.
I grew up in a culture were I was the wrong gender, wrong ethnicity, wrong religion, wrong color skin, eyes, hair. This affected me deeply and helps form who I am. Folks look at me as a tall, thin, blonde woman and project all kinds of things onto me. In general folks have no idea what road I have walked.
And I have no idea about where others have been or what their story is.
I like it that you’re thinking about privilege and what it means to you and how it affects you. Thanks for starting this discussion.
I just read a blog post today about privilege and how people who don’t have it are “always” wary of people who do. It was in the context of feminism, and the writer has set up a kind of feminism that’s impossible to adhere to even for women. I can’t live up to her standard of feminist ally, even as a woman myself! How can anyone else live up to it?
All I expect when it comes to people with more privilege than I have is that we be able to talk about it. I don’t expect perfection from men, but I do want men to understand what I’ve been through as a woman. Just about the only thing that bothers me is people who simply refuse to acknowledge that there is any such thing as privilege or that they have it in any sense.
@Tim it makes me sad that you have to “pass” as able-bodied. I have a family member with an “invisible” disability, and she has had to “pass” most of her life. She says that it’s exhausting and that she’s reached a point where she sometimes just avoids situations that trigger her symptoms because it’s just too hard to put in the effort to pretend she’s just like everyone else. It makes me sad because I don’t want her to hide who she is just to seem “normal” to the rest of the world–I love her exactly as she is and wish it wasn’t so hard for her.
@Amy, it’s sometimes hard for me to tell the difference between “coping well” and “passing for able-bodied”, because the able-bodied world defines them as synonymous, and I’ve internalised these definitions most of my life (I have not had a disability my entire life).
It is similar, and perhaps even more the case, for the “able-minded” world – notice how I can’t even find a term for it?
And I identify with your friend, @Amy: I sometimes find it exhausting and sometimes have to decline invitations and avoid situations; other times I grind it gratifying that I am still able to do some of the things I used to be able to do.
I’m loving this conversation. <3
Very interesting….it seems that most, if not all, of us have privilege in some ways but not in others. We all get put in categories and categorize others.
One thing that is also interesting is that when someone thinks you have a privilege, you have NO PROBLEMS whatsoever. That privilege allows you to circumvent the curve balls life throws at you and you could never experience what the non-privileged person does. I think it is key to acknowledge the privileges we do have but it should be OK to talk about our struggles and/or limitations we feel are put on us. Sometimes the same characteristic gives up privilege in one circle but not in another.
@AgnosticBeliever, there is also the tendency to try and compare disadvantage, which I don’t think ends well for either participant.
However, there is also the tendency for people with a privilege to deny it exists – which I think provokes the “you have no problems” reaction (and perhaps should!)
(I suspect it’s sometimes a request to shut up and listen.)
I have another unusual privilege for you, which I’ve never heard anyone talk about directly:
I live in a context where most people smell like me. I live in a context where my odour is accepted or at least tolerated.
Most people I interact with have similar diets, with similar predominant food groups or seasonings; wear similar fragrances; have similar bathing and clothes washing habits; use similar detergents; …
When I member of the dominant sub-culture smells (in the opinion of the dominant sub-culture, of course!) they are not considered to do that as a representative of their entire culture. It’s just because they wear old shoes, don’t change their socks, don’t shower, or “just because they are a guy” (oh dear, there’s a counter-example of someone representing an entire sub-group!)
When a guy does smell, it tends to be accepted because they’re male, and expected to sweat more, and perhaps engage in more physical activity.
I have heard several cultural groups, including my own, stereotyped for smelling like particular foods, or perhaps stereotyped for their bathing habits. In one case, this was obviously due to the actions of one individual, who was then considered to represent the habits of the group.
One thing I am curious about: how does this work in other countries? How does it work for women?
P.S. I have a very sensitive sense of smell at times. So I notice these things.
@amy, back to your original question about how privilege is different between where you and I live:
http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2012/05/list-of-examples-of-christian-privileg/
Around 1/4 of the privileges in that list don’t apply to me as a Chrisitan in Canberra, Australia – those about schooling, faith in politics, practicing religious customs, positive references (to a lesser degree) and people understanding my faith accurately (or maybe I’m just fussy about them getting it “right”!!?!).
Oh, and I am some of my friends’ “Christian friend”, and they do expect me to speak on behalf of “all Christians” (or at least that’s how I feel).
Then again, I have similar privileges, which I actually appreciate more:
I can articulate an alternate view of Christianity without being rejected by my peers (or so it would seem so far…)
I can support alternate political parties, or multiple political parties – there is no equivalent to “Christians vote conservative” over here (or perhaps it is much, much weaker).
If I had children, I could send them to a government (non-religious) school without being criticised by the church for my choice (I think!)
I can explain parts of my faith to most of my friends, without them dismissing it as “I’ve heard it all before”
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