This topic contains 18 replies, has 13 voices, and was last updated by 
David Hayward 1 year, 3 months ago.
-
Posts
-
This is a piece I did for the Wittenberg Door a number of years back. I came up with the idea when my wife, who was still teaching a church bible class for kids, asked me for a fun Bible game. At the time it just popped into my head and even though it was really offensive, even to us, we couldn’t stop laughing. If you are sensitive about making fun of Jesus please don’t read. This is highly offensive to someone who really believes in Jesus. This is based on the whole Bible Baseball and other Biblically sanitized activities I was exposed to as a kid to make religion “kid friendly
New Game Announcement
From
Change the World to Bible Everything Christian Game Company
Our company has been sensitive to a growing concern among Christian parents. It is the use of secular games at Church sponsored parties and get togethers. We feel that some of these games promote ideals that true Christian parents would certainly not approve of.
We have provided such classic games as Bible Baseball, Bible Ring Toss, and the well known, but little distributed Bible Rubic’s cube. It has come to our attention that there is a tremendous need for Christian based party games. Of particular concern has been the use of Pin the Tail on the Donkey.
The issues, as Christian Parents have written to us, are outlined below…Since Jesus rode on a Donkey into Jerusalem, they feel that the use of a donkey brings disrespect to this sacred event.
Also the graphic display of the Donkey’s backside presents a frightening picture to young impressionable minds.
And the most dangerous effect of playing this game is the promotion of liberal political views. They feel that if children are trained to see the Donkey as a friendly fun animal, they may become influenced to follow the Liberal Democratic agenda since the Donkey is used as a symbol for that party. If it were an Elephant this objection would not be so troubling, but we would have to present the game as pin the trunk on the Elephant. (We actually considered this and made a few mock ups, but we didn’t feel we could market this effectively as a Christian religious product. You may see a version in our Christian Secular line.)
This brings us to our new product announcement. After much research and design we feel we have provided the perfect substitute for Pin the Tail on the Donkey.
We are proud to present: Pin Jesus on the Cross
This provides a fun game for kids that, at the same time, teaches deep theological principles. We have provided a wonderful handbook to go with this game. It has suggestions for parents and discussion questions that kids can answer after playing the game.
One particularly wonderful example was provided by our in house Christian counselor, R. U. Kumpleetlynuts. He suggests that you remind the children that when they sin they are crucifying Jesus again and that this game can be a reminder of them doing that very thing. And whoever comes closest to pinning Jesus to the cross can be asked to confess a sin before the group.
Other fun variations are Pin the Thief to the cross. Each thief has a space for the child to write their own name so that each child can realize that if it weren’t for Jesus they would be hanging on the cross. There are enough extra crosses and thieves so that 20 children can each take their own game home with them. No other game company adds this type of value. And we mean value in everyway. Moral and economic value.
We expect that there will be great demand for this game. We are offering a pre-release discount of 10 percent. (We feel that since tithe is 10 percent, that giving a ten percent discount is the most Biblical. We also put 10 percent of our profits into new game development so you can be rest assured that we practice what we preach by tithing into God’s game ministry) We at Change the World to Bible Everything would like to thank you in advance for your support of this important ministry.
R U Kumpleetlynuts? – love it.
Another idea for Christian parents who are worried about the pervasive secularization of fun and games is a Christian adaptation of the popular tailgating activity of the corn hole (or beanbag) toss game. Construct your board or box so that the hole represents the gates of Hell and have the bags represent all the unrepentant souls waiting at the pearly gates. Then the participant can play along as if they are casting the undesirables down in to the fiery inferno. Different color bags could be used for the various damned groups – atheists, agnostics, people of non-Christian faiths, people from apostate Christian denominations, progressives, etc. The winner of the game is the one who manages to throw the highest number of damned souls down the hole. Perhaps the game could come with buttons or tee-shirts that say WWJD.
Nicely done Richard. I laughed! (thanks for the warning. you are a wise man!)
I heard a really funny comment on the WWJD. This person was really offended by WWJD until he realized it was “What” not “Who.”
Oh dear…
You should be glad this isn’t a publicly searchable forum, or no doubt you’d have some enterprising and highly mis-guided individual actually making and selling these!
And yes, I laughed!
Wade.
@Wade_Bowmer The Door didn’t publish it, but that’s almost exactly what they said. LOL They said it was too close to the truth and offensive at the same time.
I think its irreverence it was makes it hilarious!
pretty sure this is the funniest thing I’ve read all week. the 10% discount is perfect and throwing souls into cornholehell is also a wonderful spin on a classic game. can’t stop laughing.
The thing is, while this is hilarious and offensively good, there is a valid point here. Jesus on the Cross was not a nice event to be celebrated in nice jewelry, but a gruesome death. So often people do make a “game” of it, rather than appreciate the violence and visciousness of it.
And chucking souls down into hell has the same issue. There are some people who would like doing this, because they are into sending souls to hell.
Yes, I think these are too close to a truth for some people.
fantastic use of humor to highlight religious neurosis…lol
haha yes! a game called chucking souls into hell instead of bobbing for apples…..ha
Steve Clough makes a good point. I think one of the reasons that this makes me laugh so hard is because laughter and sadness are often much closer than we realize. So much of my life was spent with fear that sometimes laughter is the only way to release the mixture of emotions that come from something that has no reason. My parents and my church had good intentions. Their ignorance and fear caused them to teach me that I was depraved from birth to be a sinner and that every time I sinned “I crucified Christ anew.”
I remember sitting in a Catholic church and seeing this graphic sculpture of Jesus being tortured on a cross and imagining how it might feel to be nailed to a cross and trying to survive the pain. At the same time I was feeling guilty and shamed that my actions would cause someone to have to experience that over and over. This is clearly child abuse. It’s unintentional and it’s sustained by ignorance. And when I point that this is child abuse I am often labelled a trouble maker, a blasphemer, a heretic, or an infidel deserving of the eternal lake of fire. These toxic, brain numbing, viral beliefs sustain this type of abusive belief system and don’t respond to reason or being nice.
Or my atheist friends, who didn’t grow up in a church, ask me what the big deal is. To them it’s clearly silly. The problem is when you are a true believer, this is mental torture. And when this state of being invades almost every waking moment, it produces a state a being where one has to sustain a state of shock to make it through the day. This is what children do instinctively. If you can’t disassociate, you go crazy or you don’t survive. Coming out of this state of shock, for me, was one of the most confusing, painful, frightening, and relieving experiences all at the same time.
I am so thankful for humor. Humor is often the only expression that helps me make sense of these conflicting emotions. This type of humor is shocking to some, but you can’t ignore it and it has a tendency to go under the radar. I think this is why people often get so upset. It kind of strips things bare all at once. It helps to prevent people from minimizing the harm of these ideas.
I like this, “I am so thankful for humor. Humor is often the only expression that helps me make sense of these conflicting emotions. This type of humor is shocking to some, but you can’t ignore it and it has a tendency to go under the radar. I think this is why people often get so upset. It kind of strips things bare all at once. It helps to prevent people from minimizing the harm of these ideas.”
AnonymousThat is hilarious, Richard! lol The first irreverent Jesus joke I ever heard was, “Why can’t Jesus eat M& M,s? lol, I know it’s old but it flipped my shit for about five days, when I got over it, I realllly got over it. When I heard the joke , What else did Jesus say to his disciples when he was on the cross? “Hey Peter, I can see your house from here! ” , I just chuckled and realized how far I’d come in my journey…I love religious humor, that’s what lured me into Davids neighborhood, where I found all you lovely folks. Peace and laughter, all.
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.