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Hello, everyone! I’m hoping things are going to settle down a little and allow me the chance to be on the forum more frequently. I still intend to respond to the other posts I made a couple weeks ago, but it won’t happen all at once.
Anyway, I wanted to share a little about what has been happening that led to my needing to take a little break.. Partly because it’s somewhat therapeutic, and also because I am beginning to feel so safe here. The long and the short of the financial struggles we’re in is pretty much this: My husband owned a paint store with his parents, and it went under back in 2005. Taxes had not been dealt with properly (without mine or my husband’s knowledge) and after the business collapsed and was subsequently sold, all the back taxes were suddenly in our laps. This compounded with the fact that we had made our share of stupid financial choices, and then being without health insurance..well, it was a shit storm to put it precisely. In 2008 we filed for a chapter 13 bankruptcy and paid every month, on time every month for 4 years. During the payment plan we had to make sure we kept up with any other bills incurred, and of course we could not take out any credit at all. We kept up with medical bills and everything. We were strapped tight, tight, tight for 4 years and then we saw the light at the end of the tunnel. The end of the bankruptcy was loooong and drawn out and very torturous because we kept being told we might still owe more than the 36 grand plus we had paid back. Then we had to wait for the red tape to be cut through and the hoops to be cleared, and FINALLY we had recently received the official letter from the state that said we were DONE.
We were really beginning to feel relief and it seemed our efforts really paid off. Our family van was almost dead, and we went straight out and traded it and downsized from a van to a mid sized sedan that gets 30 miles to the gallon. We felt like going from having a bankruptcy payment to a car payment wasn’t such a bad idea, since we NEED a car, and it can help us build our credit now. We will not touch credit cards with a ten foot pole, so it’s really the only credit building thing we can do right now, until two years is up when we would be allowed to buy a house. Anyway, this is when the ugly letters started coming in. The day I wrote the “Forgive me” post, we got a letter from the state department of revenue, saying that we owe them back taxes and interest. We called, and it was coldly explained to us that they weren’t allowed to let us know that those taxes weren’t included in our bankruptcy plan, WHILE we were in our plan. SOO…the taxes sat and accrued interest for 4 years. Nothing to be done after much searching around but to create a payment plan with them. We have gotten a few other things from the state that accrued interest, and now we are trying to figure out how to pay them off. So much for the light at the end of the tunnel…This was the year we were going to take our children to Disneyland with the in laws..it fell through..We’ve never been on a real family vacation, and I never got to when I was a kid either….we’re all feeling quite a bit less than exuberant. I’m 34 years old and I’ve never been outside the Pacific Northwest (since age 5)…I want to travel and see places. I want to meet people. Instead, I have to stay trapped here, struggling to feed my family and to keep a roof over our heads again, because the price of everything has gone up and all the “surplus” in our budget was eaten up before we even got the first bill from the state. I’m trying so hard to stay positive, but lately I’m not doing so well. All of this, combined with the fact that my marriage isn’t so stable, I have some really tough chronic pain and other health issues, and I haven’t got any face to face friends really to speak of..well..I am seriously, seriously struggling people. Money is the bane of my existence. Second only to mean and heartless people..which I have unfortunately some in my life.
So, there you have it. This is my current situation, and I know it could be worse…but I really, really don’t want to find out what that’d be like. :O
I’m not intending to bring anyone down with this, and I know I’m hardly the first person alive to feel as though the whole world is out to get them in some form or fashion. I just felt like it might be a good thing to let you all know what I’m dealing with. It might help you understand me a little more.
Thanks for listening!
Wow Moxie. (Seems I’m saying ‘wow’ a lot on this site!) Incredible story. My wife and I went through personal bankruptcy a couple years ago. I left the ministry bankrupt. It was the one thing I greatly feared. We made it through the actual bankruptcy thing, but now we are bound for 7 long years without credit, etc… So I know exactly what you’re talking about. Including the unforeseen circumstances. And the strain on relationships.
Thanks for sharing.
AnonymousWhen I left my husband I lost my home (which I had paid for) and his years of drinking and refusing to work had devastated my finances. I live on social security right now as I am too sick to work as a laborer now. I don’t know when or if I will ever get child support. And I am paying off thousands of dollars of credit card debt that my ex husband ran up in my name.
The only glimmer of hope I have is that I am so poor the state will pick up my autistic child’s multiple therapy needs. And I do hope that after I graduate from college and have ran up 20,000 in college loans that I will find better work.
It does seem like a long road. And it certainly seems unfair. I find it helpful not to look ahead and just keep living one day at a time.
We had to declared bankruptcy too. The IRS had come after my husband. It was from before we were married. and the IRS do not play nice. at all. I worked for 5 years and my entire teaching salary went to pay off his debt. It was like being in a dark hole. I really hated the whole credit thing and shame that comes along with it… but we have found along the way lots of folks who have similar stories. We are not alone. Life happens and shit happens. We’ve had our credit restored now for awhile for which I am grateful. You guys will do it!
Thanks, David! Bankruptcy sucks, and the road back to “good standing” with banks is wrought with all sorts of thorns and boulders…ugh. Sorry you know what it’s like! The worst part for me is that, when we finished the bankruptcy we owned our own vehicle…now the bank owns our new car..it’s so backwards. If only our van hadn’t been pretty much a lemon!
JEB64, I am truly sorry for the hardships you endure. I wish I was better at focusing on the day at hand instead of hoping so much for the future to be better. It would make it easier I think…
No kidding, Starfielder! The IRS nearly gave me a heart attack once, coming to my door when I was already weak from illness and the power was about to be shut off. I could not eat enough to stay healthy as I was making sure my kids had enough…I am really hoping things won’t get that bad again. Thank you for sharing your story of recovering from all that..it’s nice to know that it’s possible!
AnonymousMoxie, I just want to let you know that you are so amazing for sharing this with us. And the fact that you’re trying to hold things together, to make things work, shows real strength.
I am saying this from experience. When I was 19, my parents went through bankruptcy because my father is not mentally stable. Instead of trying to find a way to make it work, he left my mother totally screwed and without any credit, and no money to seek a real divorce. He left my credit in shambles. I was homeless for 2 years and bounced around from family member to family member because no one wanted me there for more than a couple of weeks. It was hell on earth, and it took, a loooong time to get out of that mess.
So yeah, the fact that you’re bravely trying in the midst of this terrible situation actually gives me hope. My thoughts are with your family in this hard time.
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