Blog › Forums › Introductions › Meet & Greet › Hindu-to atheist- to whatever I am now…
This topic contains 9 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by David Hayward 1 year, 7 months ago.
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April 16, 2013 at 4:58 pm #9711
I haven’t been involved in church in almost 3 yrs. I’m still in love with God, but sick of how institutions represent Him.
I’m new here- exploring TLS today- and I’m wondering if I will fit in. I was raised Hindu- or rather an Americanized Hinduism- and I didn’t understand why ‘Christian’ was a bad word. Then, about 9 yrs ago- I was publicly mocking Christians, just because I was a cynical b*tch and I enjoyed making people feel idiotic about their faith. I’d say at the time, I was an atheist. Or I thought: “If this ‘Loving God’ DOES exist- why doesn’t He intervene or help us out? Does He not give a crap about His creation?”What an ass, I don’t want to spend eternity stuck with the Big Critic in the sky anyway…
The atheist part was- I figured God was just an imaginary friend to comfort people too weak to admit they are alone.
So- that was my idea of how this whole life works.But- when I was mocking those Christians, some of them talked to me- they overstepped the offense I was throwing at them- and they looked at my broken heart and actually talked to me about God, as they knew Him. A part of me was rolling my eyes: “OHHH, great- now they think this ‘witnessing’ is going to change my life. Perfect.” Yet another part was genuinely curious as to how they could talk about such ludicrous things as though they are REAL.
Then, the next day- the whole corny, sappy thing of ‘being born again’ happened to me. I met God, Jesus, whatever you want to call Him. I was spitting in His face, demanding to die or to be proved wrong/right- I’m not sure I cared about the outcome. I had been hospitalized twice for suicidal ideation and cutting. I was not afraid to die, and if the REAL God wanted to strike me dead for my rebellion, so be it. But He didn’t.He wiped the spit off His face- looked deep into me- and said: “Sweet girl, you just don’t know how much I love you.”I fell in love that day. He is my best friend, lover, protector, etc. It’s like: I didn’t believe in aliens before because it was ridiculous. But an alien came into my house, eats with me, laughs with me, cries with me, lives with me every day— and now I’m one of the nut cases who believes in aliens.
Can’t wait to get to know all of you!!April 16, 2013 at 6:00 pm #9714WOW @JeniAnanda WELCOME! I love your story! It resonates with me. I love your about face and it makes me smile.
April 16, 2013 at 6:11 pm #9716Thank you for sharing – I know you’ve already read my story so I won’t bother to revisit it. I certainly recognize your savior and his love and the intimacy of that relationship. I’m glad that it serves you in the way that it does and that you’ve become a better person as a result.
April 16, 2013 at 6:46 pm #9719What a beautiful story, JeniAnanda! Thanks for sharing, and welcome!
April 16, 2013 at 7:11 pm #9724can i be one of your aliens? beautiful story @JeniAnanda … and just so you know, there are many on TLS who believe and would resonate with your story so you’re not alone here. and we are all gracious and accepting of one another even if we don’t know the same experiences or embrace the same ideas. i can also tell you have a sense of humor. rawk on!
April 16, 2013 at 8:10 pm #9726Welcome….this is a great place to be totally yourself!
April 16, 2013 at 10:56 pm #9732
AnonymousGreat to have you join us Jeni! Look forward to hearing more from you.
April 17, 2013 at 12:11 am #9736Welcome.
April 19, 2013 at 1:50 pm #9807Thank you guys so much! this is- pretty darn exciting!
April 22, 2013 at 7:17 pm #9896Ho @JeniAnanda YOU’RE EXCITING
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