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I came across this picture on a “friends” FB page. I put friend in quotes, because I have almost nothing in common with her anymore. I can’t bring myself to delete her though, cuz I’d never hear the end of it from her neighbor who happens to be my MIL..anyway..the picture:
This picture straight up makes me incredibly angry. It’s royally pissing me off! I have so many thoughts swirling through my head over it, and the mindset behind it. I was actually raised with this mindset, and at one time I FULLY believed that it was MY job to go around making sure people were made aware that they need to get right with god before they die. But deep, deep down..I knew I didn’t even really know what “getting right with god” actually was. And I actually doubted the existence of hell from the moment I introduced to it. That doubt faded with all the mind altering FEAR PROPAGANDA. I can’t tell you how many times church groups I was a part of used the unfortunate demise of some kid in the town who died in a drunk driving accident, or someone’s cousin who died of cancer and didn’t “know the lord”…they used these things to morbidly, unashamedly RUB IN OUR FACES that these people “are burning in hell now, and it’s just so sad, but you need to get right with god so that you can KNOW you won’t wake up there, too!” It made me sick, then..but I was buying into it. I was simultaneously so sad for the death of the individuals they brought up and absolutely soul chillingly TERRIFIED for my own eternal security.
THAT is what drove me to be a “good christian”. THAT is what kept me second guessing every single damn move I made. And that horrible, cold, unforgiving fear that crept into my dreams and made me unable to sleep peacefully, beginning at a very young age…that fear is what KEPT me from actively seeking answers to the hard questions (like, “Where did christianity really come from? Who really wrote the bible? Why are christians always so much more cruel to me than “secular” people ever have been?” ) For so long, I could not have courage..because I was so scared! I could not live boldly, because I felt like I was walking on a tightrope across a canyon filled with lava and bloodthirsty sharks. I could not be free, because I was in absolute bondage to fear. And seeing this picture, and knowing that there are people who are living with that same awful fear that I had, just thoroughly saddens me for all of them.
I know I can’t wake everyone up to the truth (that there is no hell!)…I know that I can’t make them see it, and start to free themselves from the grip of this evil lie that deceives much of our world. But I can’t help but feel so riled up and angry at whoever(s) are responsible for these lies. And no, I don’t believe in the devil, either. People are capable of enough evil on their own, just like they are capable of incredible love and good. To those who read this and strongly disagree with me, that’s okay. I know we’re all on our journey, at different places on the way, and in different “climates” if you will. I don’t expect everyone to get what I’m saying here. But I’m saying it anyway. To me, there is a massive amount of arrogance that must be weeded out of our minds, when we think we know anything at all..let alone to proclaim that we know what happens when we die. As far as I know, I’ve never died before. And the giant game of telephone that’s been happening for centuries isn’t a reliable source of information to use in my opinion. I think that real humility and meekness starts when we begin recognizing that we don’t have all the answers. Religions tend to defy that, and say that they have all the answers to all the big questions of life and death. I long for a day when more and more and more people can step out of that mindset and into the great unknown. It can be scary at first, but not anywhere near as scary as believing that closing your eyes in death can equal opening them in eternity of flames and excruciating pain (or separation from god and eternally swallowing your guilt for sin or whatever they rationalize it away as)…And closing thought…what about the poor soul who has lost a loved one, who’s living on the street, starving, lonely, and scared already..what of them? It’s so damaging and scarring to add such a horrible burden to lives who are already barely hanging on…It’s just so wrong.
wrong but effective. really annoying. thanks mox.
AnonymousThat is an awesome testimony Mox. You are so right about people just wanting to not ask questions, particularly tough ones. And who wants to pay the price for their freedom from their society? No one, usually. Nor should some kind of people. Simple faith works for simple people. There just aren’t many simple people running around these days. It seems like everyone is trying to question or sort out. I think it’s the angst of the Christian religions attachment to the idea of Jesus’s return. I must admit I am wondering about it and I know I read about an old crusade story where it already has. lol. I know we are in a very special time right now. Very special. This is going to be an interesting Christmas season, I think.
What about the homeless person, for real. We should take better care of our poor in this incredibly rich nation. The amount of the mentally ill and mentally overburdened on the street is shocking and not so shocking. It’s another infrastructer funding issue. Ronald Regan’s administration closed down very, very many mental hospitals all over America and released the patients back into society to fend for themselves. It was so sad. We still need to fix that horrible mistake in policy. Our homeless populations are at so much of a risk. Homeless people need protection and help. Bless you for thinking about homeless people, girl. You may be the first Christain person I have ever heard talk about homeless people. I can’t remember another. That’s weird.
I think I have shared this here someplace before so if it is repeating please forgive.
My former pastor got up on a Sunday morning and in the midst of the sermon he shared about preaching the funeral of the loved one of a member the day before. I will never forget about how proud he was that he used it as a time of “sharing the gospel” with the family. He stated that they told him their family member was not a believer. Armed with this knowledge he declared to the family that their loved one was “unfortunately” burning in hell…but that his suffering can still bring good as it could spare them if they get right with God. That’s right…he used the funeral to bring more hurt and pain to the grieving family. The saddest part about that whole incident as I look back on it is that he and most who were in church that morning thought that was such a courageous loving (sic) thing to do.
I did not know how sick and twisted I really was until my eyes were finally opened. Thanks Moxie…great thoughts.
AnonymousUgh. I have certain people hidden from my newsfeed so I don’t have to see the glurge they post. That’s particularly disturbing. I kind of think people who post that are getting off on telling people they are going to hell.
Gary, I know pastors who do that. Our former pastor once said, after a church member’s relative died, that he “didn’t know the condition of his soul” (meaning the deceased). It was so utterly insensitive, with that family sitting right there in the front row. I’m grateful that the pastor who did my mother’s funeral didn’t do anything remotely like that. No sermons at her funeral, no comments on her eternal fate, and no mention of any of that in the Sunday service–only stuff about how much she was loved and how much she would be missed. My very much non-religious family was grateful for that pastor’s love and care during our grief.
Thanks everyone! I really appreciate the outlet here to vent my thoughts..these things can sometimes nearly ruin my day if I don’t “get them out”…I know I can come across a little more than a little bitter, but I’m trying to keep my temper..lol!
Kathy, I kind of giggled a little at the end of your post…you see, I consider myself to be “ex-Christian” (not atheist, possibly agnostic, but I’m hoping to stay as label-free as possible)…so technically, you still haven’t heard a christian person talk about caring for homeless people.
You made me think of the handful of instances in which my husband and children and I were nearly homeless, and we couldn’t keep food on the table and so we went to churches to ask for help. It was worse than standing in line at the DHS…we had to jump through so many hoops for a couple of bags of nearly expired canned goods and a stack of church tracts. Nothing like being humiliated by church people in nice clothing who have a Mercedes parked outside when you’re barely able to feed your family! 
Anyway, I’ve not been bona fide homeless so far, but I learned not to ask for help from churches, at least not in the area I live. And because of my experiences, I feel for people on the streets in a way I never would have before..I think I would like to help families in trouble like mine has been, if I had wealth. I dream of doing so completely anonymously, though..lol!Gary, and Amy..That is so awful! And it’s exactly what I was talking about…I wish people could see what they are doing! But of course, they have to see it for themselves when it’s time..I certainly didn’t even start to really realize it until I’d been out of church for well over a year!
Anyway, thanks so much for letting me rant!
AnonymousMox – I totally agree with everything you said! RIGHT ON!!
You are such a deep thinker and an awesome writer. I LOVE it when you expound on a topic! PREACH IT GIRLFRIEND!!
AnonymousI apologize for any offense, Mox. I have to become a lot more sensitive around here, I know. Thanks for sharing your heart and experience. The Modern Church in America needs some serious reform. Too many rich people and people who adore money, go to churches. They are justified at churches not challenged.
AnonymousMox – Now you got me all riled up! This just came to mind…
I was at a “home group” Bible study a couple years ago and the guy who was teaching that night was all enthralled with some Christian book he had just read (can’t remember the title or by who.) But it basically talked about how at the Marriage Supper of the Lamb, ONLY the “super holy Christians” were going to be welcomed into the feast, and the “luke-warm” Christians were going to be outside the walls of the banquet hall weeping and wailing and gnashing their teeth.
Of course, this guy was all teary-eyed, saying how he didn’t want that to be true of him and he implored us to “go deeper in our Christian walk” and to be “in the Word” more than ever, yada, yada. (GAG!)
I don’t doubt he had the best of intentions, but the minute he presented that concept, I KNEW that was pure BULLSHIT! I told him I did not agree with him or the book he read. To say that God plays favorites, or places His children into some kind of categories like “First-class/High-Achiever Christians” versus “Second-class/Low-Achiever Christians,” and then treats them differently – that is NOT the same God of Amazing Grace that I know!
The leader was so surprised that I spoke up and disagreed with him, that he didn’t even know what to say! I was pretty surprised myself, because I had always been one of those gullible people who just swallowed every teaching hook, line, and sinker, and never rocked the boat. I knew I would never survive being surrounded with that kind of toxic teaching, so I left for good not long after that.
Modern day parable: If anyone is going to find themselves outside the banquet hall wailing and gnashing their teeth, it will be the smug, “super-holy”, self-righteous Christians. Meanwhile, those they had loudly judged and condemned will be inside eagerly chowing down at the Marriage Feast!
Wouldn’t that have come as a huge shock! (Same for the people who put up signs/billboards like the one that ticked you off Mox!) Talk about the perfect blindside! But then they should have seen that coming. It was Jesus who said, “the first shall be last, and the last shall be first.” It was He, the Bridegroom, they should have imitated, instead of idolizing and dissecting the marriage manual..
Such piercing wails of agony! Such relentless remorse and gut-wrenching repentance! Such hopeless despair! How could we – the preachers, the teachers, the self-described “holy ones” – have been so blind? How could we have been so insensitive, so obnoxious, and self-righteous? How could we have inflicted such senseless emotional pain and suffering on those who came to us needing our understanding, compassion and love? We deserve nothing but to burn in hell forever! We have lost our very souls! God help us!
Immediately, they realize something is different. Light is dispelling their darkness. The intensity of their self-loathing and burning shame is waning. Suddenly the Bridegroom steps into their midst! They cower in fear – waiting for their just reward; the unleashing of His furious wrath.
First they hear Him snicker. And then He roars with laughter. Jesus slaps his knee and says, “I really had ya going there, didn’t I guys? You can consider that a Divine Gotcha! I just had to give you a little taste of your own medicine. Come on guys, follow me. You’re going to a Marriage Supper! Let’s get this party started!
AnonymousMoxie, that reminds me of a story from another church I used to attend. We had a food pantry for people like your family when you needed the help. The staff/elders wanted people to be able to come in, ask for help, and go home with bags of groceries. But the people “in charge” of stocking the pantry wanted some kind of “system” for hand-outs. Once, a man came in asking for help. The youth pastor loaded him up with all kinds of food for his family from the church’s huge stock. He was so grateful. Later, she got an earful from the pantry ladies saying she should have asked permission first. Gah!
We have a local food shelf in our town, sponsored by a church but run in a town building. They never turn anyone away. They have a clothing shelf, too. My kids love taking things there because they know their donations will ALWAYS go to people who really need it.
Oh, Kathy…you did NOT offend me, AT ALL! I’m sorry I made you think otherwise! Really, the last thing I would want to do is make you or anyone else feel like you’re walking on eggshells here. My intentions weren’t to so much say “I’m NOT a Christian!” as they were to kind of point out the irony of the fact that I’m not identifying myself that way anymore, and your comment that you haven’t heard a christian really talk like they care about homeless folks. Anyway, I sincerely hope you feel free to comment on my posts in the future, because I sincerely enjoy reading what you have to say!
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This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by
moxierocks.
Thank you Jo! Wow, I LOVE the modern day parable you shared! Did you come up with that yourself? And GOOD FOR YOU for you speaking up and calling bullshit when you heard it! That is something I was never good at while I was in churches..especially since most of them were run by very “anti-woman speaking in the church (at all) type” clergy. I’m so glad you were able to do that, and that you got out of the toxic, suffocating environment of that kind of teaching!
I’ve thought about how, back when I was fully believing that I was a “worm” and that anything I did that seemed good was no better than “filthy rags”, I lived in an almost constant state of fear and uncertainty. I would sometimes just think to myself that, if god is the only one who knows my heart, than what’s the point of trying to be good? According to the way I was taught, I could have still woken up in hell after death even if I really never or rarely “outwardly” sinned, because of the fact that god looks at the heart and knows if your intentions for doing good were actually selfish or prideful. This kind of teaching traps people in a lose/lose scenario…you’re always probably failing even if you seem like you’ve succeeded…Ugh! I felt like a massive failure on a constant basis before I finally looked outside of what I had been taught. Anyway, the point of sharing all that was to say, in a way, I feel like I was “weeping and gnashing teeth” while I was living that way…and then when I came out of it, I finally started living! And in a way, your parable kind of describes what I went through just before I realized what I thought I knew was all wrong, and in fact, I had a LOT less to worry about than I thought!
Amy, I’m glad that there’s at least one church that is freely caring about and giving to people in need.
Unfortunately, my experiences on the receiving end have been like that first church you shared about…SO FRUSTRATING! I even donated some time to a church clothes closet/food pantry one time, and they wanted to find out WHY I was offering to help out and made me fill out paper work for some reason…it just confounds my brain…the “systems” that everyone seems to think need to be there for this or that. Nothing can just be straightforward! 
AnonymousHey Mox – Yes, I wrote that modern parable, but I had LOTS of Divine help! Sometimes I’ll be writing and all of a sudden I just go into “inspired mode.” When that happens, I realize God is doing the thinking and the writing, and I’m just the typist at that point. (Not that I’m claiming to be “God’s spokesman” or anything like that!) It doesn’t happen very often, but when it does, it is very cool to be along for the ride!
I get the whole “worm” and “filthy rags” thing. I too lived under incapacitating fear that God demanded perfection from me and there was NO way I was gonna achieve that. I sure tried to though! So glad we both know now that that is complete bullshit! It is so refreshing to finally understand, embrace, and bask in God’s AMAZING GRACE!
If Christians would only stop and really think about what they believe, they might realize a few things. Like the fact that Jesus reduced the Law from the 600+ Jewish Laws plus the 10 commandments in the Old Testament, down to just two in the New Testament: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your mind, with all your soul, and with all your strength, and love your neighbor as yourself.
And yet who can possibly love God or anyone else with ALL their heart, ALL their mind, ALL their strength, and ALL their soul? No imperfect human being could do that 24/7 every single day of their life. NO WAY! But that’s OK! There’s no need to worry or grovel or jump through any kind of hoops! Because Jesus has already fulfilled both the O.T. AND the N.T. Law FOR US! It’s a done deal. End of story. Now that’s Outrageous Grace! Is that cool or what?
Moxie, Yes, the thinking behind and tactics related to that sign are very familiar. I’d like to share a little true story about the “surprise” the sign is talking about…
I have a good musician friend who I played in a band with for a little over a year, up to May of this year. I used to pick him up on the way to rehearsals, and we had about a 30 minute ride together each way, so we got to discuss a lot.
He goes to a church that teaches and preaches strongly about hell. His mother died early this year. She and most of his family were/are agnostics/atheist/irreligious, whatever, but he was very close with his mom.
He was absolutely inconsolable for weeks about the thought that she was now burning alive in hell forever. He actually said that he looks forward to when “God will wipe away all tears” as he thinks that somehow God will someday make you just magically forget about all the people you knew who went to hell so heaven will be a happy place. I gingerly brought up the subject that maybe God’s love is a lot more encompassing that his faith allowed for, but that made him a little angry, so I dropped it.
Well, now it’s Thanksgiving weekend, and he is again all upset that this is the first holiday that his “unsaved” mom is gone, presumably screaming in hell while he eats turkey. Ugh. And Christmas is right around the corner.
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P.S. – As an aside on the “God will wipe away all tears” thing, I have read another view that is equally absurd – that God will open your eyes to how bad of a sinner the people in hell really were so that, even if it’s your beloved mom, you will see how badly they offended God by not getting “saved” and therefore you will not even want to shed a tear even if you could look in on them and watch them suffer. That is some sick theology right there, if you ask me. -
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