by David Hayward | Sep 14, 2014 | David's Letters, I'm okay
Good morning my friends. At least it is morning to me. I was just outside to watch a flock of geese fly overhead. It was beautiful and melancholic at the same time. Winter’s coming. I’ve been thinking all week about what I’m going to write about...
by David Hayward | Sep 7, 2014 | David's Letters, I'm confused
I have difficulty with these two extremes: 1. wallowing in misery 2. floating in fantasy That is… we can get stuck in our own suffering and even become attached to it. The world becomes a very dark and nasty place, and we become its helpless victims from which there...
by David Hayward | Aug 31, 2014 | David's Letters, I'm confused, I'm scared
One of the areas of our life most affected when we go through major spiritual change is our relationships. Fellow-workers, employers, family, friends, and even enemies. Significant others, partners or spouses. So today’s letter is about our romantic...
by David Hayward | Aug 24, 2014 | David's Letters, I'm confused
Today I want to talk about belief. Specifically, I want to talk about how belief is the biggest barrier to change. I realize that many of us are still believers or agnostic or atheists. So I want to be sensitive to that. Therefore, I’m going to share my own...
by David Hayward | Aug 17, 2014 | David's Letters, I'm sad
I think this letter is going to be short and to the point. I’m writing this for me. I hope it helps you too. If you need it. I’ve been thinking about this a lot. If I could summarize why I left the ministry and the church as I did in just one word, what...
by David Hayward | Aug 10, 2014 | David's Letters, I'm confused, I'm sad, I'm scared
Today’s letter is about a very sensitive topic: victim-mentality (***So right from the beginning I want to assert that I know there are real victims in this world and even among our membership. I know what it is like to be victimized. I and my family! There have...
by David Hayward | Aug 4, 2014 | David's Letters, I'm okay
This first thing to realize when talking with anyone is that it requires cross-cultural communication skills. Let me tell you a story about something that happened to me yesterday: I was taking my dog Abby for a walk. A neighbor (let’s call her Sue) was driving...
by David Hayward | Aug 1, 2014 | Podcasts
It was a pleasure talking with one of our members, Danielle Heyns. It’s great talking with you guys. It helps other members to realize that we aren’t crazy, but experiencing very normal transitions as we strive for our own spiritual independence. CLICK...
by David Hayward | Jul 30, 2014 | Exercises
This is a picture of a couple of watercolor paintings I did some time ago. I miss it. Let me tell you a story. Making art was an important part of my healing and reconstruction process. I didn’t know this at the beginning of my deconstruction. It didn’t...
by David Hayward | Jul 27, 2014 | David's Letters, I'm confused, I'm sad
I’m not talking about your romantic or marital ex. I’m talking about your ex-church. Now, before I begin, I want to clarify a couple of things: These can apply even in existing relationships (your partner or church now). These are not all the lies, but a...
by David Hayward | Jul 24, 2014 | Exercises
This is a really good article about emotional boundaries for work. But they can apply to family, friends, and church as well. It even applies to TLS! Here’s a chart: Read the entire article: CLICK HERE
by David Hayward | Jul 23, 2014 | Exercises
This is a very simple exercise that I find myself doing every once in a while. It’s become a kind of marker of where I am compared to where I’ve been and where I may be going. Here it is: What is one thing you believed 5 years ago that you now no longer...
by David Hayward | Jul 20, 2014 | David's Letters, I'm okay
I still feel like I’m in vacation mode. We had people drop by and stay for a couple of days, so the party continues! Plus my websites were down for a couple of days. That was freaking me out. But all is well now. I’ve been thinking about trust....
by Chris | Jul 14, 2014 | Uncategorized
I find it as difficult to believe that the origins of life and the universe came about via the understandings of a reductionist/materialist pov as I do that there must be one specific notion of deity of some kind to which all owe their existence and ultimate provision...
by David Hayward | Jul 7, 2014 | David's Letters, I'm scared
I know. That’s a really dramatic title. But I seriously would like to make my confession. Will you hear it? We had an incident in our Facebook group this weekend. Some conflict. What was really frustrating for me was we were in the middle of the post-tropical...
by David Hayward | Jul 2, 2014 | Exercises
Here’s an exercise that you might find helpful. One of the things we all confront when we decide to walk our own path, forge our own trail, or live our own lives, is criticism from others. Sometimes it is intentionally mean to hurt us. But other times it is just...
